Into the Blue

Many of the characters on this list have “big guns” in a figurative sense, but the cast of Girls’ Frontline have actual guns. The game takes place in a war-torn future where androids known as T-Dolls act as surrogate soldiers on the battlefield. Although the T-Dolls look like anime waifus, they inexplicably carry real-world firearms. Like the weapon she was named after, everything is automatic for M249 SAW. She puts minimal effort into her work and tries to coast by on mediocre stats and useless skills. She’s constantly chewing bubble gum, and you can tell that she doesn’t take herself too seriously. Although she’s relatively useless on the battlefield, the community loves her anyway because she’s a total cutie. This line of thinking might sound superficial, but it’s par for the course when you’re dealing with a gatcha game.

Fans of the Zelda series have probably noticed that Link is surrounded by kindhearted women during his adventures. Girls like Zelda, Marin, and Saria are total sweethearts, for example, and Lana is cut from the same cloth in many regards. Lana is technically the light half of a powerful sorceress who was corrupted by darkness, so it makes sense that she’d defined entirely by virtuous traits. The cheerful mage uses her book of magic to create barriers and disperse enemies, and she wields her spear with great efficiency. She’s capable of some spectacular acrobatic feats, and she leaps across the battlefield with incredible grace. She makes everything look so easy, and her perky energy could be likened to an idol singer as she dances around in her midriff-baring tube top. Lana’s smile is infectious, and she clearly has a lust for life.

I wasn’t expecting an axe-wielding android to make an appearance on this list, but Labrys is not like most robots. The mechanical maiden’s personality was based off of a real human, after all. The other students at Yasogami High knew there was something different about her, but they never suspected that she was an artificial human even though she frequently flashes her android chassis. Her classmates thought she was strikingly beautiful and made note of how sexy she was, so who am I to say otherwise? Labrys’ emotions are often subdued, but her boundless charisma eventually shines through. This is especially apparent in Persona 3: Dancing Moon Night, where she leaps around with unbridled enthusiasm. (Clang clang clang!) Although she was designed to be a living weapon, Labrys evolves into an adorable toaster waifu.

Anastasia Palma is a Greek-born actress with boundless charisma. At 19-years-old, she was already established as a world-class performer, and she had made her mark on stages all across Europe. After joining the Imperial Combat Revue, she had the opportunity to travel the globe and expand her horizons. The group is dedicated to fighting demonic threats from an alternate universe, but they maintain cover as a theater troupe. Anastasia had ulterior motives for joining the revue, and this obfuscates things even further. Her fighting style is also unpredictable, and she’s able to fool her enemies by hiding hand cannons in parasols. Her acting skills make it difficult to know where her allegiances lie, but I’m too busy staring at her tits to worry about her duplicitous nature. Those things are bigger than her head!

Furry characters were not eligible for this list, but Felicia warranted an exception. Not only does the feisty catgirl have a human face and a human torso, but she also lives among humans. Since there are no male members of her species, the only way they can reproduce is with humans. In other words, nature dictates that humans are supposed to bang her! That’s not likely to happen, of course, since Felicia is a chaste heroine who was raised by nuns. She even decides to become a nun herself, though she certainly doesn’t dress the part. Although her barely-there fur bikini preserves her modesty, she’s technically naked and her bare ass is often exposed. Felicia spends an inordinate amount of time fighting, but she’s actually a pacifist who would prefer to be singing and dancing. Her optimistic energy only makes her more attractive.

When Lobelia was introduced in Dead or Alive Xtreme Venus Vacation, astute fans were quick to point out that she was basically Marie Rose in a blue wig. The tiny-bodied teens both had flat chests and doll faces, and they also had names that were based on flowers. (In case you’re wondering, lobelias are flowering plants known for their vibrant blue petals.) Lobelia is well versed in the language of flowers, and she can actually deduce a person’s name by comparing their physical attributes to plants. Even though she’s obsessed with horticulture, she’s a great ambassador for horny culture as well. (Sorry.) She was born into nobility and raised by an overprotective father, but this doesn’t dissuade her from frolicking around in slutty outfits. Lobelia is more than happy to make herself a mistress for the right person.

Aqua is a Keyblade Master and a skilled sorceress who fights darkness with the power of light. While her ability to wield elemental magic is impressive, I’m more intrigued by her physical attacks. Aqua’s remarkably agile, and her battles are often punctuated by graceful cartwheels and elegant twirls. Her physical attacks look more majestic than her spells, and they likely triggered the ESRB’s “Mild Suggestive Themes” label. The men in her life are drawn to her beauty, and even Hades eyes her up-and-down when he meets her! She’s more than just a pretty face, however. Aqua is more mature than her friends and acts like a cool big sister, but she might be a little too overprotective. This makes her seem condescending at times, but I admire her blunt honesty. The world could use more strong-willed women who are inclined to speak their mind.

KOS-MOS is an advanced battle android that was created by an intergalactic conglomerate. She’s made entirely out of mechanical parts and nanomachines, and this allows her to manifest all sorts of weapons like some sort of absurd Swiss Army knife. Although her decisions are informed by logic and probability, she was also programmed with a simulated personality to aid in communication. She doesn’t feel emotions, however, and this leads to all sorts of comedic situations. Her analytical nature makes her stand out during moments of levity, and her behavior seems almost random at times. Some might look at KOS-MOS as an emotionless weapon, but who wouldn’t want a quirky robotic girlfriend with an ever-evolving bustline and the ability to morph their body parts into different shapes? Just imagine all of the kinky possibilities!

Azura was the adopted princess of Nohr, but she was ostracized by the Nohrian people. Although she was a skilled songstress and dancer, she faced rejection and was relentlessly bullied. She developed a stoic personality to shield herself from persecution, but she finally found a loving environment after she was abducted by a neighboring kingdom. She had been taken to Hashido and intended to be used as part of a hostage exchange, but her adoptive father didn’t want her back. As a result, she stayed in Hashido and was treated like a proper princess. Azura has a graceful demeanor and is one of the most beautiful women to ever appear in a Fire Emblem game. She’s got a great personality too, and she’s willing to risk her life for the sake of others. It’s hard to believe that anyone would reject someone so elegant.

Adol Christan is an adventurer who serves as the main protagonist of the Ys series, but he shares the spotlight in Ys VIII with a mysterious blue-haired girl who appears to him in a dream. Fittingly, Dana Iclucia looks like someone I’d dream about too! Dana is a descendant of an ancient civilization who was born with the power of precognition. When she became terrified by her own abilities, her mother suppressed her powers so she could live as a normal girl. “Normal” is a relative term in this case, as Dana still runs circles around her peers. She has a wild imagination and a tendency to behave recklessly, but she’s well-suited for a life of adventure even though her friends are bewildered by her cavalier attitude. I’m more perplexed by her slutty outfit, however, and I can’t help but wonder how she keeps everything in place.