The Call of the Wild

Prehistork Man tells the story of a brave caveman on a quest to find food after his village’s supplies are stolen by greedy dinosaurs. (Why the dinosaurs stole food instead of simply eating the cavemen is beyond me.) There are various animals for Prehistorik Man to fight along the way, and in typical caveman fashion our hero uses a giant club to stand up to those who oppose him. While venturing toward the legendary dinosaur graveyard, the journey takes our hero to a vast array of environments ranging from burning forests and molten volcanoes to water-filled caverns and frozen ice caps. Due to the scope of the adventure, Prehistorik Man needs to master several skills in order to progress. In time, the caveman will hop off the heads of his rivals, catch rides on rafts, and even take to the skies with a hang glider!

As this list clearly illustrates, cavemen are awesome. Almost as awesome as ninjas, in fact. As cavemen ninjas, Joe and Mac have both bases covered! When their girls are kidnapped by a rival tribe, Joe and Mac immediately set out to rescue the scantily clad babes. Joe and Mac’s adventures take them through typical prehistoric settings like volcanoes and rain forests, and they fight the usual suspects of dinosaurs and rival cavemen along the way. However, as cavemen ninjas, Joe and Mac have not only mastered an assortment of weapons like throwing hatches and knives, but they’ve also learned a variety of striking attacks and magical spells. It’s kind of surprising that it took until 1991 for such an incredible concept to see the light. Joe and Mac haven’t been seen in decades, but that might just be a result of their advanced ninja abilities.

Monkey is a thinly-veiled reference to Sun Wukong from Journey to the West, and he also plays homage to Goku from Dragon Ball (who was also based on Sun Wukong). After the death of his parents, Monkey was left alone at a young age to survive in the wild. He’s unable to recall the name his parents gave to him, but the tribes he traded with in the past referred to him as Monkey, presumably due to his animalistic appearance and acrobatic abilities. Monkey could be described as a loner and is very difficult to approach. He avoids confrontation, but he’s capable of defending himself when the situation calls for it. The numerous scars on his body are reminders of past battles. After Monkey forms an unlikely friendship with a girl named Trip, he learns to let down his guard and become more trusting of others.

Gau is a feral child who was forced to grow up in the wild among animals and monsters because he was thrown away by his deranged father. When Gau’s mother died during in childbirth, his father lost his mind and abandoned his infant son. Against all odds, Gau managed to survive, and he even developed a remarkable ability to learn attacks and various techniques by studying the creatures that surround him. Gau is easily confused, speaks with a limited vocabulary, and drapes himself in monster hides, but he also demonstrates a certain level of compassion and politeness. Although Gau has proven he can survive in even the harshest environments, you get a sense that he yearns for comradery and friendship. In spite of his tragic and difficult childhood, Gau’s eyes are shining with intelligence.

You might be surprised to see a woman on this list, but “wildman” is actually a gender-neutral term. Besides, Ayla clearly wears the pants in her family. She’s arguably the toughest person on this entire list, too. This courageous and confident warrior acts as chief of her village and leads her people in a war against an evolved race of reptiles. Make no mistake about it, Ayla more than holds her own in the company of mutant frogs, powerful mages, and robots from the future. As the only main character in Chrono Trigger incapable of using magic, Ayla relies on brute strength and physical prowess. While others arm themselves with an array of well-crafted swords and finely-tuned weapons, Ayla is content in using her bare hands. She calls all of her own shots too, and she even forces engagement on her boyfriend.

Blanka’s unusual appearance and unique fighting style are attributed to the fact that he grew up in an isolated Amazon rain forest after surviving a plane crash. Guile has military training, Chun Li is an Interpol agent, and Ryu studied under a martial arts master. Blanka’s self-taught, animalistic fighting style lacks finesse, but it helps him stand out and makes him dangerous. His uncanny ability to harness electricity makes him even more unpredictable. (Incidentally, exposure to electric eels in the jungles triggered a mutation which somehow gave him this ability.) Whether he’s using his body like a cannonball, electrifying an unprepared opponent, or simply biting someone’s head, Blanka is a force to be reckoned with. Although he travels the world and participates in fighting tournaments, Blanka feels out of place in civilization.

Pogo is a young caveman who looks forward to becoming a hunter and proving his worth. His keen sense of smell helps in this regard, but his plans fall apart after he decides to rescue a beautiful girl from a rival tribe. The girl in question was intended to be used as a sacrifice, so Pogo is exiled for stirring up trouble. It’s not all bad news, however. Pogo is exceptionally strong, and he’s accompanied by his trusty gorilla sidekick for most of his journey. Along the way, he acquires new weapons, learns new fighting techniques, and beats the shit out of plenty of dinosaurs. He also manages to get his rocks off without uttering a single word. His communication consists mostly of grunts and pantomime gestures, but he still gets the girl in the end. This is even more impressive when you consider that his farts are literally toxic.

Some will point out that Higgins is simply an islander who lives in a tropical environment and not really a wildman per se. However, the Adventure Island series is home to many themes that have unmistakable caveman qualities to them. For example, the obstacles in the games consist mainly of giant rocks and open fires, and Higgins deals with said obstacles using stone axes, mountable dinosaurs, and skateboards. In other words, Adventure Island contains everything you’d expect to see in a caveman game! The first Adventure Island game is essentially a blatant clone of Wonder Boy. However, Wonder Boy starred in only one caveman-themed game before he abandoned the prehistoric motif for a medieval theme. Master Higgins, on the other hand, stayed true to his caveman roots for several adventures.

Bonk is actually known by several names, depending on where you live. In PAL territories, Bonk was known as BC Kid while, in Japan, he is known as PC Genjin as a pun on PC Engine. (The Japanese translation of “Genjin” is “caveman”, while the “PC” part of his name actually stands for “Pithecanthropus Computerurus” – a fictitious species and an obvious play on Pithecanthropus Erectus.) Regardless of what you want to call him, he’s the unofficial mascot of the TurboGrafx-16 and the console’s answer to Nintendo’s Mario. Bonk is a large-headed cavemen who eats raw meat, grabs onto walls with his teeth, and uses his invincible noggin to bonk his foes into oblivion. Easily the most adventurous person on this list, he is even willing to venture through the intestinal tracks of the wild dinosaurs he battles with!

Tomba is a heroic and energetic youth who resides on a remote island in the middle of the ocean. The world around him is relatively civilized, but Tomba is a feral child and somewhat naive. When a group of invading pigs appear and threaten the island, Tomba takes it upon himself to defend his home. Tomba’s adventure is largely driven by the social relationships he forms along the way. He makes several friends during his journey, and this allows him to obtain new items or learn new abilities. In turn, these new items and abilities help Tomba proceed on his quest. His pink hair and rambunctious mannerisms make Tomba seem like a tempestuous savage, but he has a heart of gold and there is an unmistakable innocence to his character. He could almost be compared to Goku from Dragon Ball in that regard.