Athletic All-Stars

Although she fits the parameters of this list, it’s a bit of a stretch to call Bad Girl an athlete. She’s not a team player, after all, and her babydoll dress doesn’t look like any team uniform that I’ve ever seen. At the same time, she’s seldom seen without a baseball bat and she literally lives in the basement of a stadium. The 23-year-old assassin is an angry bitch who drinks like a fish and kills without remorse. She doesn’t have time for organized sports, but she makes a spectacle out of bludgeoning cloned men in gimp suits. She uses her bat for erratic melee attacks, and her swing is powerful enough to knock men right out of the ballpark! I can only imagine what she’d do to a baseball. Bad Girl would dominate the Major Leagues if she had proper guidance, but she’s a single-minded psychopath who revels in her own perversions.

MVP Baseball 2005 featured 30 official Major League Baseball teams and over 1000 players, but there was one glaring omission. The 2004 MLB season was arguably the best season in Barry Bonds’ storied career, but his withdrawal from the MLBPA’s licensing agreement prevented EA Sports from using his name or likeness. Since they were unable to use Bonds, EA replaced him with a “fictional” character named Jon Dowd. Dowd didn’t look anything like Bonds and batted from the other side of the plate, but his stats were an obvious reflection of the home run king. Barry Bonds was a 7-time MVP with devastating power, and Jon Dowd was every bit as dominant. He’s arguably the most iconic fictional athlete to ever appear in a sports sim, but it wouldn’t feel right to rank him any higher on this list since he’s not entirely fictional.

Junpei Iori is a reckless student, but he has a real knack for baseball. He doesn’t live in a baseball stadium like Bad Girl, but every other aspect of his character is influenced by the sport in one way or another. His baseball cap is a permanent fixture on his head, for instance, and he wields all of his weapons as though they were baseball bats. Junpei spends most of his free time fighting demons with his classmates, and he approaches everything as though it were a ball game. He can reflect certain projectiles with precisely timed swings, and his SP Gauge is even represented as a baseball scorecard. (He also has a tendency to yell “Home fun!” after landing a critical hit.) He has a bit of an inferiority complex and he constantly strikes out with the ladies, but that doesn’t stop him from swinging for the fences.

If the Mario sports games are any indication, everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom is an all-star athlete. Although Mario and his friends excel at golf, tennis, soccer, baseball, basketball, and countless Olympic events, they aren’t really defined by their athleticism. Chargin’ Chuck’s entire identity is linked with sports, however, so he’s the obvious choice for this list. He’s never seen without his football helmet and shoulder pads, and he even uses footballs as weapons! (He also throws baseballs for some reason.) Chargin’ Chuck stood out like a sore thumb in his Super Mario World debut, and he didn’t look like he belonged in the dinosaur-themed setting. Publicity plays an important role in the career of a professional athlete, and Chuck garnered a lot of attention by being so different than everyone around him.

The unnamed hero of Golf Story is a down-on-his-luck golfer who hasn’t played a game in 20 years. His father introduced him to the sport at a young age, and he’s simply looking to reclaim his childhood love of the game. To that end, he enlists the help of a curmudgeonly coach and begins to hone his skills. As he works his way up the ranks, he tests his mettle against rival players and contends with bothersome moles, angry crocodiles, and gaggles of geese. He even encounters a Frisbee golf gang! Golf Story was clearly inspired by Mario Golf, and it’s as much an RPG as it is a sports game. This allows the hero to grow as a person rather than merely improving as an athlete. He’s never given a proper name and is simply referred to as “PLAYER,” but he has more personality than most of the individuals on this list.

Natsu Ayahara is an outspoken student with a strong personality. The statuesque volleyball player is admired by her female classmates, but the guys are downright intimidated by her presence. Natsu takes a strong stance against bullying, and she goes to great lengths to protect her school. To that end, she uses a fighting style that makes use of her volleyball skills. Whether she’s sliding on her knees or attacking from the air, she can turn volleyballs into veritable canon balls. She spikes the ball with enough intensity to set her opponents ablaze! Opponents with weapons will have an opportunity to deflect the ball back to her, but I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of one of her serves. Fighting games aren’t always known for their creativity, but Natsu is a memorable character with a unique moveset.

Although EA Sports usually strived for realism, Mutant League Football was set in a world populated by aliens, skeletons, robots, trolls, and superhumans. The football fields were littered with land mines, fire pits, and other hazards, and athletes could use everything from exploding balls to jetpacks to gain an advantage. (They were also encouraged to kill opposing players and bribe the referees!) Bones Jackson was an obvious homage to Bo Jackson, but he didn’t have nearly as much skin. The skeletal athlete was the best running back in the game by far, and he was adamant that flesh just slows you down. His skills were not limited to the gridiron, however, and he also made an appearance in Mutant League Hockey. As a standout player in two different sports, Bones Jackson is one of the most versatile athletes in gaming history.

Kunio-kun is a delinquent student who acts as the guardian of Nekketsu High School. When he’s not battling mob bosses and rival gangs, he’s likely competing in sporting events around the globe. He’s the captain of his school’s dodgeball club, and he also excels at soccer, hockey, basketball, baseball, swimming, volleyball, and even sumo wrestling! Every sport is a contact sport as far as Kunio is concerned, and they usually devolve into street fights. Sports like hockey and dodgeball are inherently violent, but it’s rare to see a soccer field that’s lined with unconscious bodies. If nothing else, Kunio deserves credit for his versatility. It’s amazing how he works his trademark hurricane kick into almost every sport. His classmates are just as violent and versatile as he is, and that prevents Kunio from being ranked even higher.

You might expect to see heroic knights and powerful mages in a Final Fantasy game, but the carefree protagonist of Final Fantasy X is a professional athlete with legions of fans. Tidus flirts with girls and signs autographs during the game’s prologue, and his entire identity is linked to blitzball. As a second generation athlete struggling to escape his father’s shadow, Tidus is always pushing himself to his limits. Although he resents his strict upbringing, his enthusiasm for blitzball was the basis for many of his friendships. Things take a strange turn after Tidus is transported to a futuristic world, and he’s forced to use his blitzball skills on the battlefield. The intense underwater sport could be likened to rugby in many ways, so it was a logical foundation to base a fighting style around.

Inazuma Eleven is a media franchise from Level-5 that includes video games, manga, anime, and several movies. The main story follows the an enthusiastic goalkeeper named Mamoru Endou who inherited his grandfather’s love of soccer. Unfortunately, his junior high school team only has seven players and is at risk of being disbanded. Mamoru’s teammates aren’t as motivated as he is, but he remains determined to recruit more players before the soccer club is shut down. Mamoru is a perpetual underdog, but he never backs down from a challenge and is always looking for ways to improve. It’s always fun to watch a ragtag group of misfits overcome the odds, and it’s impossible to root against someone as optimistic as Mamoru. The Inazuma Eleven series has spanned 15 games thus far, and Mamaru Endou is the franchise player.