The Land Down Under

Australian businessmen are often defined by their ruthlessness, and Ozzie Mandrill will stop at nothing to succeed. When his business deals in Australia failed to gain traction, he decided to expand his corporate empire in the Caribbean. It was his intent to transform the pirate population into “productive members of society,” and he even joined forces with a pirate reformation teacher. When Ozzie’s not trying to disambiguate pirates, he’s a scheming land developer who uses cryptic insults to demoralize his enemies. Between his thick Australian accent and his reliance on slang, it’s not always clear what he’s trying to say. Nevertheless, he manages to orchestrate a sinister conspiracy through manipulation and lies. By destroying egos with his weaponized words, Ozzie obtains deeds from intimidated landowners.

Raiden is a ruthless professional wrestler with little regard for his opponents’ well-being. Even though he can manhandle almost anyone, he’ll still resort to dirty tricks when he sees fit. Whether he’s pressing his enemies over his head or spraying them with poison, he’s a force to be reckoned with. Like Australia itself, Raiden is rugged and immense. His imposing size made him an ideal henchman for a notorious crime lord, but he eventually removed his mask and tried to redeem himself under the name, Big Bear. Fans of pro wrestling will notice that Raiden has a striking resemblance to the late Big Van Vader, but there are worse wrestlers to draw inspiration from. Namco added a blatant Nathan Jones knockoff to the Tekken 4 roster, so we’ll forgive SNK for their homage to one of the greatest big men in wrestling history.

The man who would become Slasher Hawk was raised as an Australian Aborigine after he was abandoned by his birth parents. Although he was treated like an outsider, he observed the customs of his village in an effort to gain acceptance. Sadly, he was forced to leave the tribe after his adoptive parents died. While he had trouble finding people he could relate to, he befriended an injured hawk that he found on the battlefield. The hawk was revered as a guardian deity within his tribe, and it acted as his personal totem. While working as a mercenary, Slasher Hawk armed himself with five-foot-long steel boomerangs which were sharp enough to split calves in two. He referred to his weapons as wilgis, however, and insisted that “boomerang” was a white man’s word. He was a man without a country in some respects, but he was still protective of his lineage.

The British established the first Australian penal colony in 1788, and the harsh conditions of the largely-unknown continent served as a powerful deterrent to crime. The country was a dumping ground for overcrowded prisons for nearly a century, and this explains why fictional Australians are often painted as criminals. Kano, for instance, is a calculating mercenary and a member of an international crime cartel. Between his metal faceplate and his bandolier, he always looks ready for a fight. The knife-wielding badass entered a fighting tournament in the Netherrealm with the implicit goal of looting the palace that was hosting the event! He may have been ranked higher if he wasn’t originally depicted as a Japanese-born American. His nationality was retconned after an Australian actor was cast to play him in the Mortal Kombat film.

Australia has produced many iconic rockstars over the years, but none are more metal than Lord Raptor. AC/DC sang about a highway to hell, but Lord Raptor went so far as to kill himself (along with a hundred fans) during his final live performance. The charismatic young rocker was an expert guitarist who was revered as a “God of Metal,” but he became a sensation posthumously. Incidentally, his theatrics caught the attention of the dark Emperor Ozum, and he was resurrected as a zombie. Although he was expected to collect souls for his master, Lord Raptor secretly planned to overthrow Ozum and keep the souls for himself. Now that’s what I call rock and roll! Aussies are often painted as wild unrestrained, but Lord Raptor takes things way too far. Still, it’s hard not to be impressed by a guy who can turn his limbs into chainsaws.

The boxing kangaroo is a national symbol of Australia and is frequently displayed by spectators at sporting events. They have been the subject of silent films and animated shorts, and they were even stencilled onto Australian aircrafts during World War II. We’ve already looked at gaming’s greatest marsupials, but Roger deserves recognition on this list as well. Roger is the end result of a genetic experiment that aimed to create combat-ready animals. He lacked the killer instinct that researchers were looking for, but he was intelligent enough to escape. After meeting up with a Mexican luchador, he was taught how to wrestle. Remarkably, his boxing gloves didn’t hinder his ability to piledrive or powerbomb his opponents. If nothing else, Roger should be acknowledged for his absurd sense of humor. He’s one of the most iconic joke characters in gaming.

After Australia was destroyed by hostile robots, Mako Rutledge watched as his home became a wasteland. He needed a special mask to adapt to his new environment, and his humanity slowly faded away as he fought to survive amongst the scavengers and bandits. In time, he became a ruthless killer with a reputation for wanton destruction. This list has enough overweight criminals as it is, but Roadhog’s design is an homage to one of Australia’s greatest cultural exports. Mad Max ranks among the most important Australian films of all-time, and the series has had a significant impact on popular culture around the globe. The state of Australia in Overwatch was clearly inspired by the post-apocalyptic Mad Max universe, and Roadhog could ride with Lord Humungus without looking out of place.

Marsupials and boomerangs are synonymous with Australia, and Ty the Tasmanian Tiger is the embodiment of both. He’s arguably the most stereotypical character on this list, and that includes the boxing kangaroo! Armed with a an assortment of boomerangs, Ty travels the Outback in an effort to locate fellow Tasmanian tigers who had mysteriously disappeared. Along the way, he rescues his dingo girlfriend, saves koala children, and has run-ins with emus, lizards, spiders, and crocodiles. He also contends with kangaroos and collects opals by the thousands. The scope of his adventures reflect Australia’s vastness, and the dangers he encounters remind us how perilous the Outback can be. His dialogue consists almost entirely of Australian slang, but that’s probably not surprising at this point.

The aptly-named Jeffry McWild is an indigenous Australian who lived a peaceful life on the coast. He was the best fisherman in his village, but he finally met his match when he encountered a 25-foot shark. His boat was wrecked during the battle, and Jeffry was placed on the verge of death. After recovering, he promptly entered the World Fighting Tournament. He wanted to fight the ferocious shark again, so he planned on using his prize money to buy a new boat. He devoted years of his life to tracking down the shark, and he spent all of his winnings upgrading his fishing boat into a full-fledged research vessel with high-end sonar devices. Jeffry is cut from the same cloth as other iconic Australians like Crocodile Dundee, and he’s the personification of man’s eternal battle with nature. What kind of guy would pick a fight with a shark!?

Without question, Saxton Hale is the biggest badass on this list. He can be easily identified by his manly moustache, rippling muscles, and a crocodile-tooth lined hat. He also has a patch of chest hair in the shape like Australia! Saxton is a successful CEO and one of the richest men in the world, but the daring Australian spends his free time fighting, drinking, and battling with ferocious animals. On that note, he tamed a bear in the Brazilian jungles, he made Indonesian berserker sharks cry, and he converted a weapons factory into a Yeti-fighting theme park. He’s basically an inverted version of the crocodile hunter. Although Saxton was conceived as a background character, he later became one of the major storyline characters. He’s also been the subject of numerous game mods, and his fan following is almost as massive as his chest.