Batter Up!

A free indie game created in RPG Maker 2003, OFF gained a sizable cult following and even spawned a number of fan-made spinOFFs. Although the game describes itself as a “nice game for cute children,” it’s more akin to a surrealistic nightmare. The Batter is a man of few words who embarks on a sacred mission to purify the world of unholy spirits. The purification process involves the use of a baseball bat and is a lot more violent than the language suggests, but the Batter insists that the ends justify the means. The stoic protagonist shows little emotion as he battles those he deems impure or dangerous, but the Batter isn’t exactly a glowing example of purity himself. After his true intentions are revealed, it becomes apparent that the Batter was controlling the player as much as the player was controlling him.

Mike Jones is a typical teenager from Seattle who stumbles into the adventure of a lifetime during his summer vacation. While searching for his kidnapped uncle in the tropics, Mike patrols the oceans, befriends dolphins, and uses his baseball skills to defeat a number of monsters. Mike is an ace pitcher, and his arm is put to good use when he pelts his rivals with baseballs, bolas, and other projectiles. When it comes to close-range weapons, baseball bats are the obvious choice. His bat is twice as powerful as his default yo-yo weapon! Nintendo has published over a dozen baseball games on various platforms and were even the majority owners of the Seattle Mariners for 25 years, so its surprising that more of their characters don’t have connections to the sport.

Cracker Jack worked as a bouncer and a bodyguard before he was hired by a wealthy European family and given the chance to expand his horizons. The gentleman brawler built his reputation with his fists and feet, but he’s not afraid to use a weapon if the situation calls for it. He occasionally busts out a baseball bat mid-battle and frequently uses it for combo attacks. The bat can also deflect projectiles, so it’s even useful when his opponents are out of range. C. Jack can hit his enemies several times before they hit the ground and is powerful enough to make his opponents ricochet off asteroids! The escape velocity of the Earth is about 33 times the speed of sound, but this attack still only takes off about half of an enemy’s life bar. It’s not quite a home run, so I guess we’ll call it a ground rule double instead.

Many games set in urban environments feature baseball bats as weapons, and Dead Rising is no different in this regard. Frank West has a myriad of weapons to choose from as he mows down zombie hordes, but baseball bats are essential for anti-zombie warfare. The freelance photojournalist can take out multiple foes with a single swing, but the bats tend to break pretty easy. (Thankfully, he can somehow increase the power and durability of the weapon by reading sports books.) Durability was no concern for the AI-controlled Frank West in the Dead Rising 2: Case West DLC, as he had an infinite supply of bats at the ready. Outside of the Dead Rising games, Frank West armed himself with a bat in Tatsunoko vs. Capcom and could even use an oversized bat to knock his opponents off-screen.

He wears a baseball cap and has a baseball-themed name, so it only makes sense that the Scout’s weapon of choice would be a baseball bat. The snarky Bostonian looks out of place on the battlefield and has the lowest health of any of the Team Fortress 2 combatants, but he’s quick on his feet and well-suited for hit-and-run tactics. His default bat is an ideal weapon for him, as it swings faster than any of the game’s other default melee weapons. The special “Sandman” bat is even more useful, as it allows him to stun his opponents or kill them with a single hit. When the Scout points to the sky and winds up, he can eliminate any enemy unfortunate enough to be in range. The Scout also has many community-created bats at his disposal – including the elite Batsaber which allows him to disintegrate his enemies!

Bad Girl is the only assassin in No More Heroes who isn’t given a proper backstory, but she’s described in the game as a “perverted killing machine” and concedes that she’s an angry bitch. The overly made-up woman drinks like a fish, swears like a sailor, and kills without remorse. Bad Girl will make a weapon out of almost anything, but lives in the basement of a baseball stadium and uses baseball bats for her most iconic attacks. She’ll occasionally light her bat on fire for extra impact, but her most cruel attacks see her lining up cloned gimps and knocking them at her opponents like baseballs. Her babydoll dress makes her seem harmless and she occasionally breaks down in tears to fool her opponents, but it’s fair to say that her name is well-earned. She’s psychotic and unnerving, but she’s still kind of hot.

Fear not, Junpei’s here! Junpei Iori is an immature and inexperienced teenage boy who uses humor to mask his insecurities. He usually strikes out with the ladies, but he sees more success on the baseball field. Naturally, his baseball skills transfer over into combat situations. Few characters in gaming embrace the baseball theme more than Junpei. He is seldom seen without his baseball cap and he wields all of his weapons like baseball bats due to his lack of proper training. It’s a little strange to use a sword like a bat, but he’s skilled enough to reflect projectiles with precisely timed swings. From baseballs to bullets, there’s nothing he can’t hit. In Persona 4: Arena, Junpei’s entire fighting style is inspired by baseball, and the game even tallies up imaginary base hits as he attacks his opponents.

The Mother games are themed around quirky portrayals of Americana, so it’s fitting that the child protagonists use weapons that would be readily available to typical American kids. Baseball bats have been used as weapons in every Mother game thus far, but I’m acknowledging Ness over the likes of Ninten and Lucas simply because he’s more well-known. Ness finds over a dozen bats in EarthBound that become increasingly more powerful as he progresses through his adventure. We never actually see him using the bat on-screen since Earthbound uses a menu-driven battle system, but the iconic Home-Run bats from Super Smash Bros. were clearly inspired by the Mother series. In either franchise, the distinctive sound that the bat makes during a critical hit echoes with pure bliss.

By looking at Shoma Sawamura, one might assume that he’s a baseball player. Although he certainly looks the part, Shoma is technically a former player. Incidentally, the short-tempered athlete was kicked off his school’s baseball team for causing too many fights. On or off the field, Shoma puts his bat to good use. The guy’s just as happy sending opponents flying off into the distance as he is knocking baseballs out of the park. He’s often the subject of ridicule due to his height (or lack thereof), but nobody has time to laugh when they’re being knocked senseless. The bat he carries is almost as large as he is, but he has enough finesse to deflect projectile attacks back to his enemies. His impulsive personality makes him a liability in baseball, but the “explosive slugger” is a great fit for the fighting world.

Monster Party begins when a fire-breathing gargoyle named Bert descends from the heavens and approaches an eight-year-old kid named Mark. After explaining that his world has been invaded by hostile beings, Bert kidnaps his new friend and makes him fight a bunch of monsters. With bat in hand, Mark battles a parade of monsters that includes zombies, man-eating plants, the grim reaper, and tempura shrimp for some reason. Bert towers over Mark, he has sharp claws, he shoots fireballs from his mouth, and he can fly! He was too afraid to fight the monsters himself, but he was convinced that Mark would be able to bail him out simply because he happened to be carrying a baseball bat. Why couldn’t Bert have simply taken the bat and used it himself? I know stealing is wrong, but it’s preferable to kidnapping!