Too Many Cooks

Marshall Law shares many characteristics with Bruce Lee and could be considered an homage to the famous martial artist, but this list is more about his skills in the kitchen. Once known as the Legendary Dragon and later known as the Fighting Chef, Marshall opened up his own dojo and subsequently saw success as the owner of a restaurant chain called Marshall China. Unfortunately, a rival chain drove him out of business and into an alcoholic state. Forced to start over, Marshall later found employ working in a Japanese restaurant. From owner, to cook, to dishwasher, Marshall has worn many hats in the restaurant business. Fighting is clearly in his blood, but working in restaurants is his destiny. He may have been rated higher on this list had his cooking skills been given a brighter spotlight.

Between Dedede’s gluttonous ways and Kirby’s insatiable appetite, it would certainly appear that the inhabitants of Dream Land like to eat. By all rights, Chef Kawasaki should be raking in the cash. Unfortunately, he seldom does any real cooking and would rather use his frying pan as a weapon. Instead of treating Kirby like a potential customer, Kawasaki throws dishes at him and even tries to fry him up! His behavior is sometimes unprofessional, but I admire the dedication he shows to his craft. He’s always dressed in chef’s attire, he usually has his utensils at the ready, and he never stops smiling. Chef Kawasaki’s meals aren’t likely to win him any awards, but Kirby still seems to appreciate them in the anime. Kirby will happily eat anything (or anyone) that’s in front of him, mind you, but that’s a story for another list.

El Fuerte (which translates to “The Fuerte”) is a Mexican luchador known for his unbreakable fighting spirit. Believing that the ultimate champion deserves the ultimate menu, El Fuerte enters fighting tournaments to hone his lucha libre skills and to discover what rival wrestlers eat. El Fuerte knows the road to culinary perfection is obstructed by many obstacles, but his can-do attitude helps him conquer adversity at every turn. El Fuerte enjoys cooking so much that he will even make dishes for his adversaries. Unfortunately, his attempts to please everyone sometimes have the opposite effect. In one instance, he mixes chankonabe and borscht together in an effort to impress his Japanese and Russian peers. When the dish almost kills his tablemates, El Fuerte proudly proclaims that his dishes can send people to heaven.

Jam Kuradoberi is a master chef with a desire to own her own restaurant. Unfortunately, she struggles to get her endeavor off the ground and is marred by terrible luck. Throughout the Guilty Gear series, Jam is either occupied with finding seed money to start a restaurant or raising funds to rebuild after her establishment burns down. (The restaurant business is a tough racket.) Jam is quick to make decisions, but she often jumps to conclusions and ends up causing trouble for herself. Jam’s proud Chinese heritage is apparent in both her fighting and her cooking. She’s proficient in several martial arts and is actually one of the world’s most proficient wielders of Ki energy. She’s most comfortable when she’s in the kitchen, however, and her goal in life is to discover new and useful cuisines. I’d let her cook for me any day.

The evil Fujimoto is a Japanese sushi chef and Octodad’s arch-nemesis. After stowing away on Fujimoto’s boat, an octopus was somehow able to pass himself off as a normal human. Under the guise of Octodad, the octopus built a comfortable life for himself and settled down with his human wife and children. Remarkably, Chef Fujimoto was the only one who saw through Octodad’s disguise and stalked him in an effort to expose his secret. Fujimoto ultimately planned on killing and eating the poor octopus, but he took things a little far when he kidnapped Octodad’s family and tried to convince them that Octodad was an octopus all along. Fujimoto had a restaurant to run, but he was completely fixated on Octodad. In the end, Octodad was a big enough man to forgive the chef for his unhealthy obsession.

Quina Quen is the most mysterious party member in Final Fantasy IX and one of the strangest characters in the entire series. Like other members of the Qu tribe, Quina is completely obsessed with food and not especially useful in combat. The unlikely hero uses forks as weapons and is completely out of place on the battlefield. It’s easy to dismiss these antics though, since Quina primarily plays the role of comic relief. It’s hard to look cool with your tongue hanging out of your mouth, but Quina’s ability to devour enemies in order to acquire new magic skills is intriguing. Quina is on a personal quest to find new, exotic food to eat, but usually just ends up catching frogs, licking rocks, or eating “yummy” sand. As Quina so aptly puts it, “World only have two things: Things you can eat and things you no can eat.”

Bravo Peperoncini was once a top Italian chef, but he was enamored with other recipes and eventually became known for his Chinese cuisine. His unique blend of Italian and Chinese became very popular, and diners flocked to his restaurant to get a taste of his fusion dishes. After his restaurant was destroyed by belligerent customers, Bravo sought out the mysterious “Chaos Code” which would apparently solve the world’s energy problems. A large reward was offered to anyone who could find the Chaos Code, so Bravo naturally ran into a lot of opposition along the way. His fighting style combines martial arts with the culinary arts, and Bravo develops many creative ways to turn the tables on his rivals. He throws explosive dumplings, hits his enemies with frying pans, and (literally) smacks his opponents with a his salami.

Gourmand serves as head chef on a luxurious airship that cruises around the world. It’s not unusual for chefs to seek out the best recipes and ingredients, but Gourmand has evil intentions and attempts to steal rare delicacies wherever he can find them. He’s underhanded and unreliable, but it shouldn’t be surprising that a guy named Gourmand is obsessed with food. After learning of a mysterious castle in the sky, Gourmand jumped ship in the hopes of finding new ingredients that no one had seen before. In battle, Gourmand has the longest reach of all of the Power Stone fighters since he incorporates his kitchen knife and frying pan into his attacks. He also uses a cooking pot as a makeshift cannon and somehow has the ability to breathe fire. He transforms into a dinosaur too, but that’s a story for another day.

The face of the Cooking Mama franchise is a passionate cook who wants to share her love of food with others. Her ample experience in the kitchen combined with her maternal instincts makes her an ideal teacher. She gives detailed instructions on how to prepare a wide assortment of meals, and she provides structure to her lessons by rating her pupils on their efforts. She always has kind words of encouragement for those who do well, and she’s mindful to motivate those who require a little more assistance. In the event that someone makes a mistake, Mama is always there to console them or to help them rectify the situation. Mama has a number of other hobbies (including gardening, babysitting, and crafting) but she’s best-known for her contributions to the culinary arts. It doesn’t hurt that she’s a total MILF… wait, what?

I was planning on recognizing Halo on this list, but I was informed that its protagonist is called Master Chief, not Master Chef. It’s all for the best. As one of gaming’s earliest heroes, Peter Pepper is more than worthy of the number one position. Ol’ Pete predates everyone else on this list by over a decade! While assembling oversized hamburgers, Peter literally walks over his ingredients. His methods are questionable, but they’re understandable when you consider that he’s being chased by anthropomorphic pickles, eggs, and sausages. Peter can stun his pursuers by shaking pepper on them, but this is just a temporary solution. The original BurgerTime was the most successful game in the series, but Peter Pepper also appeared in a handful of sequels where he was tasked with working in ice cream factories and diners.