The French Connection

As the last decedent of an upper-class French family, Elisabeth Blanctorche is dismissive of those who are of lower stature. She’s chronically late and will openly denounce her own teammates, but her arrogance can be written off to her upbringing. She was raised in a mansion, she employs a butler, and her hobbies include horseback riding and wine tasting. She carries herself like a typical noblewoman, but she’s more sentimental than her cynical exterior might suggest. The Blanctorche family apparently made it a point to protect the innocent, and Elisabeth is cut from the same cloth. Armed with a riding crop and a sharp wit, she enters the King of Fighters tournament to chasten a childhood friend who had abandoned their mission. Once she sets her mind on something, she’ll do whatever it takes to get it done.

Capcom made a concerted decision to tone down the stereotypes in Street Fighter III. As such, Remy doesn’t have many of the usual traits you’d normally associate with France. He is a master of savate, however, and he tests his graceful French kickboxing techniques against the best fighters in the world. Remy seems relatively composed at first, but his calm demeanor masks his nihilistic nature. He has no time for honor or glory, and he hates everything. His father abandoned their family to pursue the life of a warrior, and Remy has been filled with disdain ever sense. Although he has a deep-seated hatred for all fighters, he spends his time traveling the globe in search of opponents. He claims to resent the warrior lifestyle, but he pursues it himself. Pardon my French, but he’s obviously fucked in the head.

Fashion is a facet of French culture and an important aspect of France’s economy. Nadia Cassel worked in the industry as a model, but she dreamt of becoming a supermodel. Unfortunately, she had just one problem – she couldn’t stop eating! In lieu of starving herself, she enlisted in the army in a misguided effort to keep the pounds off. Her modelling manager advised against the move, but Nadia became a fine soldier. After she completed her first combat assignment, she didn’t want to leave the exciting life she had discovered. The path she took was ill-advised, but Nadia found a way to keep her figure while stuffing her face with food. More importantly, she found purpose in life. It all worked out in the end. The battlefield is more exciting than a fashion runway, and her military fatigues are surprisingly stylish.

Raphael Sorel is an aristocrat who was exiled by his family after he killed a noble in self-defense. Cast from his home and forced to fend for himself, he hid in an impoverished town before fleeing with a young girl who helped shelter him while he was on the lam. His unemotional demeanor and arrogant persona had made him many enemies, but Raphael had an opportunity to began his life anew. Unfortunately, he became obsessed with a cursed sword (called the Soul Edge) and eventually fell victim to its dark energy. The influence of the blade changed his appearance and turned him into a vampire, so he did the only logical thing and took shelter in a remote Romanian castle. Although he had been transformed into a creature of the night, Raphael continued to impress with his fencing abilities and his remarkable swordsmanship.

Helena Douglas is a world-class opera singer who looks like the embodiment of grace and beauty. Unfortunately, she has a haughty personality and is completely unconcerned with other people. In other words, she behaves like a typical aristocrat. In fairness, she’s obsessed with finding her mother’s killer, so we’ll forgive her for being a little preoccupied. I would have ranked her higher on this list, but her father was an American, her family’s mansion is in Germany, and she uses Chinese martial arts when she fights. At the same time, she enjoys upper-class French deserts, she (sometimes) speaks with a French accent, and her fashion sense takes cues from French cabaret. French women are infamous for their elegant sophistication, and nobody on this list represents this more than Helena. She’s quite the looker.

The Samurai Shodown games are set in Japan during a period of intense isolation, so an exotic woman like Charlotte Christine de Colde really stands out on the roster. As a wandering fencer in the land of the samurai, Charlotte is a fish out of water and a walking contradiction. She’s from a noble house, but she prefers the company of commoners. She’s a gentle soul who loves her countrymen, but her language is harsh and boastful when she fights. Even though she’s a total babe who occasionally flashes her panties, others view her as mannish and rugged. Charlotte periodically departs from her home in the French countryside to battle malicious deities abroad, but she’s as patriotic as they come. She even found the time to take part in the French Revolution, and she proudly led the proletarian in battle.

Arno Victor Dorian was born into a noble household in Versailles and was well-educated from a young age. After he was framed for the death of his adopted father, he became a member of the Brotherhood of Assassins in the hopes of redeeming himself for his perceived failures. Although vengeance was his primary goal, Arno’s efforts helped expose the true powers behind the French Revolution. During his adventures, he rubbed shoulders with Marquis de Sade, he befriended Napoleon Bonaparte, and he was present when Louis XVI was placed at the guillotine. He also had the opportunity to experience “time anomalies” that gave him knowledge of the Belle Époque and allowed him to see the occupation by Nazi Germany during World War II. Simply put, he has an intimacy with French history that no one else on this list could begin to comprehend.

Amélie Lacroix was an accomplished ballet dancer in Paris until a terrorist organization turned her into a sleeper agent. She became an efficient killing machine after her personality was repressed, and she even made a widow out of herself during her first mission. Widowmaker has been described as stoic and emotionless, but the girl loves to assassinate people. A living weapon obviously isn’t the best representative for French culture, but Widowmaker lives in a Chateau, her ancestry dates back to French nobility, and she makes extensive use of her wine cellar. She also speaks with a sexy French accent and has French words tattooed on her arms. If she gets bored of her form-fitting catsuit, she has the option of dressing like a can-can dancer or a soldier in the French Revolutionary Army. She’s one step away from wearing a beret.

Punch-Out!! is based around well-known cultural stereotypes, and they’re not always glamorous. Glass Joe, for instance, plays off the ill-conceived idea that the French can’t win a fight. The Parisian boxer has poor defensive skills, and it takes him forever to mount any offense. He only scored a single victory in his first 100 bouts, and I question why the WVBA continued to sanction his fights. In the Wii version of Punch-Out!!, Glass Joe demonstrates a strong sense of patriotism. He hangs around the Eiffel Tower, he brings baguettes with him everywhere he goes, and he proudly proclaims “Vive La France!” in the middle of his matches. Also, you can literally punch the croissants out of him! To his credit, Joe goes down swinging and he never surrenders. He can’t be ranked any higher, however, as winning’s just not his style.

As one of the most well-known figures from French history, Jeanne d’Arc (Joan of Arc) has literally appeared in dozens of games. I don’t typically include real people on these lists, but Jeanne warrants a mention since Level-5’s interpretation of the Hundred Years’ War is batshit insane. Jeanne d’Arc has a semi-historical map and characters that were plucked from the real world, but the game is also filled with magic spells, talking animals, floating islands, and tons of anime tropes. Like her real-life counterpart, Jeanne is a peasant girl who fights to defend France from invaders. In the game, these invaders include English armies and an onslaught of demonic pig men. Catholic doctrine tells us that Jeanne heard the voice of God, but her gaming counterpart finds a magic armlet and transforms into a valkyrie!