Not a Soul in Sight!

Most Final Fantasy games feature at least one stereotypically upbeat teenage girl. Krile, Yuffie, Selphie, Rikku, and Penelo had filled the role in previous Final Fantasy games, and Oerba Dia Vanille takes the mantle in Final Fantasy XIII. At nineteen years old, Vanille still has an undeniable childlike innocence and she is painted as a compassionate girl. She is eternally optimistic and the game goes so far as to describes her disposition as “relentlessly sunny.” Unfortunately, Vanille is also an extremely stubborn individual, and she has a tendency to cry a lot. She can be pretty annoying at times, but I’ll look past this because her pigtails are cute, her outfits are revealing, and her Australian accent is sexy. This last point is especially important, as Vanille acts as the narrator in Final Fantasy XIII.

Candy Cane is a punk rocker, a professional wrestler, and a high school delinquent. Most of the faculty has written her off as a lost cause due to her rowdy ways, but she actually has a kind heart. In fact, she only became a wrestler in the first place because she wanted to save an orphanage with the prize money. Nevertheless, she has worked hard to cultivate her “bad girl” persona, and she loves being seen as an outsider. Whether she’s humiliating opponents in the ring or taking center stage as the lead singer of an all-girl band, Candy Cane epitomizes the punk rock lifestyle. Her slutty Catholic schoolgirl outfit not only accentuates her cleavage, but it also underscores her rebellious ways. I’d rank her higher on this list if she didn’t change her hair color so often. I guess a girl like Candy Cane can’t be pinned down to a single color.

Langrisser is a tactical RPG that’s largely defined by large-scale battles and vibrant characters. The illustrator was known as the “Master of Breasts” and had a reputation for designing attractive women with impossible figures, but Chris proves to be an exception to the rule. She’s stunningly beautiful and has wistful doe eyes, but she’s also a priestess-in-training who’s surprisingly reserved. Although she has limited experience, she still helps out on the battlefield and protects her companions from demonic forces. She never fails to show bravery in the face of adversity, so don’t be fooled by her soft-spoken nature. Chris is devoutly committed to her mission, but I maintain that a good girl is just a bad girl who hasn’t been caught. In any regard, she’s the perfect gal for anyone who’s into early ’90s anime babes.

Meryl Silverburgh was first seen in Policenauts back in 1994, but Hideo Kojima liked her character so much that he decided to put her in the Metal Gear Solid games. Meryl was raised in a military family and grew up idolizing war heroes, so it’s not surprising that she joined the armed forces. She’s unsure of herself at first, but she becomes a highly-valued soldier after overcoming her initial jitters. She’s quite resourceful too, and even uses her female “hiding place” (her words, not mine) to smuggle essential items. (Gross!) Meryl received extensive psychotherapy to null any attraction to the opposite sex, but it didn’t take. She has an obvious love connection with Solid Snake, and his ability to recognize her by her distinct hip-shaking walk is actually a plot point. Her sexy ass is noticeable even when she’s in disguise.

Characters who don’t originate from video games aren’t typically eligible for these lists, but Triss Merigold is an exception to the rule. In the books, she was a side character who was friendzoned by Geralt after a brief affair. Her role was expanded significantly in the games, however. She’s the primary love interest for Geralt in the The Witcher 2 and an optional love interest in the sequel. Another change pertains directly to this countdown. Triss had chestnut brown hair in the books, while the games gave her fiery magic spells and an equally vibrant hair tone. Generally speaking, Triss was given a lot more exposure in the games. Speaking of exposure, she turns out to be quite the exhibitionist. She goes skinny dipping, she has sex scenes, and she even graced the pages of Playboy in Poland. Nice!

Although Triss Merigold was just commended for showing off her naked body, it should be noted that nudity is not a prerequisite for this list. Hildegard von Krone is the most conservatively dressed individual on this list and certainly the most practical woman in the SoulCalibur series. While her contemporaries favor chainmail bikinis and spandex catsuits, Hilde is covered from head-to-toe in a proper suit of armor. All of her potential opponents are heavily armed, so it’s kind of surprising that more women don’t follow her lead. There’s nothing inherently wrong with dressing like a pornstar, but Hilde proves that you can be alluring without showing a lot of skin. Anyone can wear slutty clothes, but Hilde stands out from the crowd by being a strong, sensible woman with a good head on her shoulders.

After her mother was gunned down by a brutish pirate, Miss Sarah Fortune recovered her flintlock pistols from the rubble and prepared for the day when she could use them against the pirate scourge. Driven by vengeance, she managed to acquire her own ship and crew by the time she was sixteen. Any criminals she encountered were either placed in chains or riddled with bullets, and tales of her conquests echoed throughout port cities like the pistols themselves. When she’s not hunting bounties and clashing with rival gangs, Miss Fortune spends her time flirting with basically anything that moves. The lady buccaneer relies heavily on her feminine charms to get what she wants, and she’s surprisingly manipulative. Nearly everyone she encounters is either seduced or killed, and I certainly know which camp I’d want to be a part of.

Belladonna lives under the guise of a normal human named Isabella, but appearances can be deceiving. In reality, she’s a shapeshifting demoness from the Underworld who secretly plans to revive an a malevolent being known as the Dark Majesty. I don’t condone her actions, but I certainly approve of her outfit. Her cleavage is off the charts, and she appears to be on the verge of a wardrobe malfunction at all times. It should be noted that her revealing outfits actually serve a practical purpose. She has a penchant for seduction and mind manipulation, and her massive rack helps her achieve her goals. Surprisingly, the Dark Majesty pays little mind to Belladonna and views her as a mere pawn. At the very least, he should reimburse her for all of her expenses. I can only imagine how much double-sided tape she had to buy.

Mii Koryuji is one of two protagonists created specifically for Project X Zone, and she’s captivating enough to hold the spotlight despite being surrounded by iconic figures from the annals of gaming history. Mii is a cheerful high school student who draws inspiration from the likes of Bayonetta and Juliet Starling. She fancies herself as a femme fatale and claims to have a black belt in cheerleading, and this mindset is apparent on the battlefield. Mii arms herself with a long barreled rifle, and she occasionally twirls it like a baton. Her tutor appreciates her enthusiasm and actively encourages her to incorporate cheerleading choreography into her fighting style. He even recommends that she lift her legs higher for the sake of providing fanservice! Mii gets riled up by almost everyone, but she’s not adverse to giving the fans what they want.

No character on this list better exemplifies the concept of a fiery redhead more than Jessica Albert. Outspoken, overbearing, and incredibly short-tempered, Jessica’s explosive magic reflects her explosive personality. Of all the characters in Dragon Quest VIII, she’s the one most likely to take charge against an opponent. To that end, she attacks with knives, whips, swords, and her bare fists. She also uses sex as a weapon. (One of her abilities is literally referred to as “sex appeal” in the game.) Jessica distracts her opponents by blowing kisses and twerking, and she’ll even slam her ass against her enemies in order to inflict damage. Jessica was born into nobility, but she doesn’t carry herself like a typical aristocrat. She’s sharp-tongued and underdressed, and she’s way too sassy to be considered a proper lady.