The Need for Greed

Perhaps more so than anyone else on this list, Hoggmeiser is defined by money. He literally ends his sentences with dollar signs, and his Japanese name is a pun that means “I love money.” The greedy demon was once a vassal to King Krichevskoy, who served as the ruler of the Netherworld. When the king died unexpectedly, Hoggmeiser wasted no time in raiding his possessions. He soon amassed enough wealth to build a golden castle for himself, and he even constructed an elaborate force field to keep intruders out. Incidentally, he was not interested in sharing his fortunes. He had more money than he could possibly spend, but he craved even more. With that in mind, he used his stolen wealth to finance a military campaign with the intent of becoming the next Overlord. Although he eventually sees the light, he never loses his desire for money.

As the Baroness of the Treasure Realm, Greed lives up to her materialistic namesake. The slovenly demon spends most of her time resting on her throne, so her minions are tasked with obtaining more gold for her vault. (When you’re the mistress of all Treasure Goblins, you no longer have to work for your money.) She inventories everything and takes special care to make sure all of her gold is accounted for, but she’s occasionally reckless with her wealth. If Greed feels threatened by would-be intruders, she’ll cause gold to rain down on them and attempt to squash he adversaries with falling chests. Fittingly, this is how she meets her own demise. She’s normally careful with her money and literally bathes in gold every three hours Scrooge McDuck-style, so it’s not without irony that she’s crushed by one of her own treasure chests.

It’s dangerous to carry large sums of money through the Hallownest, and Millibelle clearly understands this. To that end, she opens shop in a sparsely populated area and offers to take care of your banking needs for a nominal fee. She carries herself like a true professional, and the service she provides is invaluable. You can make withdrawals at any time, and your deposits will be protected if you fall in battle. Sadly, Millibelle turns out to be a common thief. She had been storing currency in her shell rather than a bank vault, and this allows her to make a quick getaway as soon as she raises enough funds. After she abandons her post, it becomes apparent that her “bank” was nothing more than a crude 2D cutout. On the bright side, you can get your money back (with interest) by tracking Millibelle down and beating the shit out of her.

The Manillo are a tribe of fishmen who are notorious for their greed. Almost all of them work as merchants, and they openly boast about their intent to control the entire world’s economy. They can be found anywhere the land touches that sea, but they’re innately drawn to gold. In fact, they can be caught like fish if gold is used as bait. Despite their inclination to seek wealth, the Manillo are regulated by a central merchant guild that discourages shady business practices. This doesn’t stop Gobi, however. The rapacious trader was stripped of his license for selling fake merchandise, so he continued to do business in regions outside the guild’s control. Gobi is constantly haggling with customers, and he tries to bankrupt his allies at every turn. Even the resident thief calls him out on his underhanded dealings.

Before joining the Cooper Gang as their RC specialist, Penelope lived a double-life as a notorious dog-fighting pilot. Although she appeared to be dedicated to her newfound friends, she secretly planned to rob them blind. Penelope initially had her eyes on the Cooper Vault, but later realized that she could make a fortune by selling weapon designs instead. To that end, she cozied up to the team’s resident genius and attempted to exploit their relationship in the name of profit. Even though she legitimately cared for Bentley, her desire for wealth caused a permanent rift between them. Bentley dropped her like a bad habit when she tried to kill his friends. In the end, she betrayed her crew and torpedoed her relationship to make a quick buck. Ironically, her greedy antics actually prevented her from acquiring the wealth she so desired.

Kunikazu Okumura is an ambitious businessman who puts his career above all else. He’s the CEO of Okumura Foods and the founder of his own fast food chain, but his success is largely fueled by greed. Incidentally, he believes that kicking people while they’re down is just part of doing business. To that end, he imposes harsh working hours on his employees and outright ignores safety regulations. He has no qualms in betraying people in order to get ahead, and he’s even willing to forsake his own family in order to climb the political ladder. When he decides to run for office, he pushes his daughter into an arranged marriage with a well-connected sleazebag because he thinks it will help his chances. Everyone on this list wants to expand their wealth and influence, but few would go so far as to use their own daughter as a political pawn.

We’re all products of our environment to a certain extent, so it’s not surprising that a guy named Goldo Golderson would be fascinated by gold. The dwarven king of Golden Hills goes overboard with his obsession, however, and he allows his desire for wealth to dictate every aspect of his life. He even invades a neighboring kingdom and enslaves its people just so he’ll be able to mine for more gold. As his wealth grows, so to does his paranoia. He’s so concerned that his riches will be taken that he builds an elaborate steam roller to safeguard his treasures. His war machine is fitted with flamethrowers and a spiked roller, and it reflects how protective Goldo is of his ill-gotten gains. In death, Goldo’s cursed spirit is encased in a golden statue. He allowed gold to define his life, so it’s somehow fitting for him to be trapped by the very thing he desired most.

There are a couple of Dead Rising characters that deserve to be mentioned on this list. Albert Contiello is a psychopathic surgeon who kidnaps people and harvests their organs to sell on the black market. He’s the embodiment of greed, but Tyrone “TK” King might be worse. He’s the type of guy who’s always looking for a new business opportunity, and he would never let a crisis go to waste. As a producer of a pay-per-view game show, TK pits zombies against survivors in modern-day gladiatorial contests. He’s willing to kill contestants for ratings, and he goes so far as to trigger a zombie outbreak in Fortune City. The infestation increase his viewership, and it also gives him an opportunity to loot the city. The greedy piece of shit created a pandemic just so he could turn a profit! Can you even imagine something like that happening in the real world?

Whether he’s acting in the capacity of a soft-spoken businessman or a vibrant bazaar shopkeeper, Moneybags will exploit any situation in the name of profit. The money-grubbing opportunist makes many appearances during Spyro’s adventures, but he’s only willing to help out if the price is right. Some of his business dealings are mutually beneficial. He unlocks doors, he teaches Spyro new moves, and he lets him borrow his submarine. His desire for gems can never be satiated, however, and he breaks every ethical guideline in the book. On numerous occasions, Moneybags imprisons Spyro’s friends and demands ransom payments! He also arms Spyro’s enemies with bombs! (He’s basically a war profiteer that plays both sides of the conflict.) Worst of all, he sells mayonnaise to an unsuspecting customer and passes it off as sunscreen!

Wario’s name is a portmanteau of Mario and the Japanese word warui – which means “bad.” The arrogant loudmouth lives up to his moniker by embracing all of the deadly sins. He’s angry, envious, gluttonous, vain, and lazy. He also wants to bang Princess Peach, so we might as well add lust while we’re add it. Above all else, Wario is defined by his insatiable greed. He’s always looking for ways to acquire treasure, regardless of the legal or moral implications. When he’s not taking things that don’t belong to him, he’s likely engaged in other money-making schemes. (At one point, he stages an elaborate gaming tournament and claims the money for himself, even though most of the entrants were his own employees!) Wario hails from a town called Greedville, so his love of money is likely ingrained into his personality.