The Italian Job

Leon is a veteran soldier and a cruel mercenary who traveled the globe looking for work. Against all odds, he met a young woman on the Silk Road and fell madly in love with her. Unfortunately, she died a tragic death in the desert with little warning. As she died in Leon’s arms, she attempted to console him by suggesting, “The man I love is the strongest man in the world.” Instead of taking the compliment at face value, Leon felt the need to convince everyone he was the man she was talking about. To that end, he began entering fighting tournaments to develop his strength and prove himself to the world. You always hear that Italians are temperamental, but Leon needs to mellow out. He’s completely fixated on the death of his lover, and he treats everyone else like trash. There’s such thing a as being too passionate.

Bravo Peperoncini was a top Italian chef who became a sensation after he started mixing Italian and Chinese dishes together. (Italian cooking was influenced by Chinese cuisine, so the fusion makes a certain level of sense.) Unfortunately, he became a victim of his own success, and his restaurant was destroyed by rowdy customers. With nothing left to lose, Bravo entered a fighting tournament with the hopes of opening a new restaurant with his reward. Fortunately, his culinary skills proved to be surprisingly effective in battle. He uses salami links like nunchucks, he boils his enemies in pasta pots, and he never stops dressing like he’s in a kitchen. Italy is one of the leading countries in fashion design, but Bravo obviously takes fashion advice from Chef Boyardee. If he was any more stereotypical, he’d be named Pizza Pasta.

Power Instinct (known as Gouketsuji Ichizoku in Japan) is a semi-obscure fighting game franchise from Atlus. The series is known for its absurd sense of humor, and its characters are intentionally over-the-top. Angela Belti, for example, is an animal trainer who is said to have the strength of ten men. She grew up in poverty, so she frequently enters fighting tournaments to obtain the things she desires. She lives a rough lifestyle, but she’s a surprisingly sweet woman who tends to fall in love easily. She chases men around the world and tries to change certain aspects of her personality, but it’s hard to act like a refined lady when you’re raising lions, fronting punk bands, and crushing men with your frightening physique. Mamma mia! Italians are often regarded as a passionate people, and this is certainly true of Angela.

Claudio Serafino leads a secret society of exorcists that has been banishing supernatural entities since ancient times. When a shady multinational conglomerate tried to enlist their services, Claudio was determined to uncover their true motives. His investigation was mostly comprised of street fights, but that’s par for the course in the gaming world. Claudio is famed for his elaborate outfits, and his sense of fashion is rivaled only by his good looks. He’s more than just a pretty face, however. His fighting style is rooted in powerful magic, and he views most of his opponents as amateurs. His moves are flamboyant and he has an arrogant personality, but at least he’s not boring. Claudio also holds the distinction of being the first Italian character in Tekken history. It took nearly 25 years, but better late than never.

The Italian women from SoulCalibur are a lot easier on the eyes, but Voldo’s unique style and bizarre behavior have made him one of the most iconic characters in the series. His fighting style forces him to contort his body in unnatural ways, and this makes him hard to predict. Whether he’s crawling around with his crotch in the air or fighting with his back toward his opponent, his bouts have more twists that a plate of fusilli. His mind is twisted too. Voldo serves as the guardian of his late master’s treasure room, and the years he spent in the money pit took both his sight and his sanity. Italians are typically known for their sense of style, so an elderly gimp in bondage gear is just the guy to shake things up! I wouldn’t put him on a travel brochure, but maybe I just don’t understand Palermo fashion.

Brad Burns is a kickboxing champion who enjoys the thrill of the fight and the company of women. His good looks earned him many adorning fans, and he was always happy to socialize with them after his matches. Brad’s easygoing nature is the polar opposite of his ring persona, however, and his fighting style is defined by sharp attacks and powerful Muay Thai techniques. His exaggerated cockiness is a bit much and he looks kind of greasy, but he’s the quintessential casanova and the ladies can’t get enough of his Italian charm. When Brad grows tired of the kickboxing circuit, he looks to the World Fighting Tournament for a chance to face worthy opponents and an opportunity to meet beautiful women. Whether he’s in the ring with a world-class athlete or at a club with a random thot, Brad is always looking for a thrill.

Stylish, charismatic, and self-assured, Robert Garcia is a flashy showman and the deuteragonist of the Art of Fighting franchise. The wayward son of a wealthy Italian businessman, Robert’s childhood was free of responsibility. Although his father wanted him to focus on his corporate studies, Robert yearned for more excitement. Instead of becoming a typical billionaire playboy, he ran away from home and became the first foreign practitioner of Kyokugenryu Karate. After maturing into a respected martial artist, the “Raging Tiger” helped bring an international crime syndicate to its knees. He also swept a pretty Japanese damsel name Yuri Sakazaki off her feet and brought her back to Italy with him. Marco Polo famously brought pasta noodles back from the far east, but Robert Garcia has him beat.

As the only child of the legendary Allesandro Germi, Fiolina Germi comes from a line of Italian military heros. She was the first female heir in the history of the family, but she was still required to follow tradition and become a soldier. Even though she joined the Government Forces and became a seasoned warrior, Fio retained her youthful exuberance. Her teammates occasionally mock her for her naivete, but Fio is an independent woman who marches to the beat of her own drum. Her best friend is a teddy bear, she studied alternative medicines like chiropractic and acupuncture, and she prefers mechanical donkeys to tanks or airplanes. She has a modest personality and sometimes looks down on herself, but she’s just as capable as any man. As an added bonus, she has a set of perfectly round yabbos!

Italy is regarded as the birthplace of the tarot, and Rose is well-versed in the art of divination. When the fortune teller from Genoa had premonitions of a great evil, she took it upon herself to stop it. To that end, she traveled the globe and fought people in the street for some reason. Rose wields a pure energy known as “Soul Power” that allows her to absorb projectiles or channel energy through her clothing, but the action fashionista understands that true power extends beyond the physical realm. Her fancy outfits are impractical and her hairstyle is improbable, but her soul is incorruptible. She’s the type of girl who will continue on her path no matter the cost, and she’s even willing to give up her life for the greater good. Sophisticated, intelligent, and independent, Rose is the classiest girl in the Street Fighter series.

Ezio Auditore da Firenze wasn’t the first Assassin Creed protagonist, but he’s arguably the most iconic character in the series. Ezio lived a blissful life as the son of a Florentine banker, but he set out on a decades-long quest for vengeance after his family was betrayed. His adventures take place during the height of the Italian Renaissance, and he has the opportunity to explore locations like Florence, Tuscany, and Venice. He also rides horses in the Apennines, takes a gondola through the Grand Canal, and takes Leonardo da Vinci’s flying machine for a test run over Forlì. He even visits the Vatican and punches Pope Alexander VI in the face! Ezio rebuilt the Assassin Order and helped shape the future of Italy as we know it, and he turned out to be a pretty good tour guide without even realizing it.