You've Got to Be Kidding!

In Kid Icarus, players assume the role of a young angel named Pit who is tasked with rescuing the Goddess of Light. Pit is a prisoner in the underworld at the beginning of his journey, and he has to work all the way up to the Palace in the Sky. The game is light on exposition and most of the plot is explained in the manual, but you can tell at a glance that it’s an underdog story. The premise of a young boy battling mythological monsters (and dastardly Eggplant Wizards) is easy to understand, and there’s a real sense of growth during the adventure. Although Pit had heaps of personality in Kid Icarus Uprising after he had time to grow up, he was more of a blank slate in his early years. Nevertheless, you have to give Kid Icarus props for being the first game with “kid” in the title.

One of the reasons why Sonic the Hedgehog was so popular was because he had a rebellious streak. His cool attitude contrasted the family-friendly mascots of the day, and young kids looked up to him. Appropriately, Tails also admired the world’s fastest hedgehog. Before he became Sonic’s sidekick, the young fox was completely enthralled by his speed. In that capacity, he was a surrogate for the audience. A lot of Sonic’s Shitty Friends™ are downright obnoxious, but Tails has a mild-mannered personality. Although he wrestles with insecurity, he never loses his optimism. Tails wants to be just like Sonic, so he tags along on his adventures like a younger brother. As a bona fide child prodigy, Tails helps Sonic in meaningful ways. Not only is he a mechanical genius and an ace pilot, but he’s also deceptively strong.

Although The Walking Dead began as a comic book, Clementine was created for Telltale’s episodic video game series. An eight-year-old girl with no real world experience is an unlikely heroine if ever there was one, but she’s wise beyond her years and the perfect lens to view a zombie apocalypse through. She was specifically designed to act as a moral compass for the group, and the authenticity of her character makes her a strong influence on the player’s decisions. Clem is unusually polite and well-mannered for a girl her age, but she becomes decidedly less idealistic and hopeful as the series progresses due to a number of tragic events. Clem could have easily have been depicted as a typical damsel in distress, but she acted as the emotional center of Season One and was given an even brighter spotlight after that.

In Xenoblade Chronicles 2, Blades are weaponized life forms that grant great powers to whomever awakens them from their Core Crystal. Poppi α is an artificial Blade that was created by a brilliant engineer who had been unable to resonate with a Core Crystal. The Adventures of Pinocchio explored the concept of an artificial child way back in the 1800s, but Poppi α is more comparable to Astro Boy. (She even has rocket boots!) Although she’s technically a battle robot, Poppi is largely defined by her childhood innocence and curiosity. The small wonder lacks social awareness and doesn’t filter her thoughts before speaking, and this leads to all sorts of hilarious situations. She’s easily the funniest character on this list. Poppi has an unbridled enthusiasm for life, and this makes it easy to root for her.

Vivi Ornitier is initially depicted as clumsy, gullible, and shy. The hapless black mage is unsure of himself, and he can barely walk without falling on his face. He gains a lot of confidence during his adventures, of course, and he develops a profound sense of right and wrong. Vivi was originally intended to be a prototype weapon for the Alexandria army, but he refuses to act like a dispensable, soulless entity. It’s hard not to become invested in his magical journey of personal growth. He progresses through a vast array of emotions as he adapts to the world around him, and he’s excited by new experiences and opportunities. His unique view of the world is informed by his child-like innocence, and he’s the most sincerely emotional character in the game. This is pretty amazing when you consider that he doesn’t even have any facial expressions!

EarthBound is an inventive RPG that forgoes a typical fantasy setting in favor of a contemporary world inspired by American pop culture. During your travels through suburban neighborhoods, you’ll visit shopping centers, use ATM cards, and order pizza. Ness looks like a typical ’80s kid with his red cap and striped shirt, and he wouldn’t seem out of place in a Spielberg movie. In lieu of swords and shields, he arms himself with baseball bats and yo-yos! This doesn’t mean that he has easy path in front of him, however. His adventure has everything: aliens, dinosaurs, robots, cult members, hippies, Spudd Webb, and an annoying neighbor who travels through time. Through it all, Ness still has to rely on his father for money. The first Mother game featured a similar character named Ninten, but Ness is much more iconic.

A Hat in Time is a whimsical platformer centered around a precocious young girl from outer space. Hat Kid tussles with an assortment of baddies as she tries to find a way to back to her home world, but she also makes a lot of friends during her adventure through time. Even her enemies are sad to see her leave, and everyone’s taken aback by how playful she is. Even though she occasionally acts like a brat, she views the world through innocent eyes. She thinks microwave ovens are used to “punish food that’s been bad,” for instance, and she’s gullible enough to play pat-a-cake with mafiasos! She’s adorable when she’s dancing around or playing sheepishly with dolls, and almost everything she does is cute and funny. She unwittingly gets herself into all sorts of zany situations, but she’s surprisingly independent for someone who’s so naïve.

Alex Kidd was inspired by Sun Wukong from the classic Chinese novel, Journey to the West. This is evident by his monkey-like features, but the similarities don’t end there. Like Wukong, Alex managed to master ancient martial arts techniques despite being an orphan who lives alone. (Dragon Ball was also inspired by Journey to the West, so Alex Kidd and Goku feel like kindred spirits.) Alex was heavily promoted during the 8-bit era, and Alex Kidd in Miracle World was even built into many iterations of the Master System. He also starred in crossover games (like Alex Kidd in Shinobi World) and was imported into games that initially had nothing to do with him. Sega kicked Alex to the curb during the 16-bit wars, but I still think he’s the most charming and likable mascot they’ve ever had.

This is one of those cases where the “one entry per franchise” rule makes things really difficult. Donkey Kong Jr. was the gaming industry’s first kid, and he made an immediate impact. When his game was released in 1982, he replaced his father’s name on the marquee and took Mario’s role as main protagonist. He was so heroic that Mario was depicted as the villain! Nevertheless, Diddy Kong has had a lot more exposure than Junior has in recent years. Not only did he star in the best Donkey Kong Country game, but he’s also been playable in dozens of crossover titles. If we’re talking spinoffs, I think we can all agree that Diddy Kong Racing has Donkey Kong Jr. Math beat. Whether he’s performing cartwheels or simply clapping his hands and screeching in happiness, Diddy has always been defined by his youthful energy.

As a child growing up in the Japanese countryside, Shigeru Miyamoto spent a lot of time exploring the woods and caves near his home. In one instance, he stumbled upon a hidden lake after hiking up a mountain. The sense of discovery that he felt in that moment was the very heart of The Legend of Zelda. Since the game was informed by Miyamoto’s childhood experiences, it’s only appropriate that the game’s hero would be a young child. I still remember how excited I was whenever I discovered a new secret area in the game, and I’d like to imagine that Link would have had the same enthusiasm. I don’t think the game would have worked nearly as well had Link been a jaded adult who had already seen everything there was to see. The world seems so much bigger when you’re a kid, and even the most benign events can instill a sense of wonder.