Shine On You Lazy Diamond

Sol Badguy is a classic example of a guy who’s brilliant, but lazy. He’s a fountain of knowledge when it comes to science and history, and he was smart enough to harness a newfound energy source. Unfortunately, he’s too lazy to share his wisdom with others, and he doesn’t even bother to teach his protégé to read! This isn’t to say that Sol is completely unmotivated, however. He spends his days as a bounty hunter and makes a point to hunt down living bioweapons that he helped create. Even though his fighting style is clumsy and unrefined, he has no incentive to improve his form. Instead of taking spacing or strategy into consideration, he just keeps punching until he hits something. He rarely meets anyone that can challenge him, so he doesn’t have to make an effort. This mentality ultimately prevents him from ever reaching his full potential.

Meitenkun is a carefree martial artists who rarely exerts himself. His fighting style could be likened to Drunken Fist in how it chains explosive techniques together with erratic motions. His movement is so relaxed that some onlookers question if he’s sleepwalking. Much can be said about the importance of staying calm under pressure, but Meitenkun takes this concept to ridiculous extremes. The dude is so relaxed that he’ll try to grab some shuteye in the middle of street fights! The so-called Sleep Prodigy fights in his pajamas and uses a pillow as a weapon, so his peculiar napping schedule is not out of character. His drowsy antics could be mistaken as a brilliant form of misdirection, but that wouldn’t explain why he falls asleep mid-conversation or why his profile in The King of Fighters XV lists “going to sleep for the fifth time” as one of his hobbies.

If you’re running a company, it sometimes makes sense to assign your most difficult tasks to the laziest employees. The idea is that lazy people will find the quickest, easiest, and most efficient way of doing the assignment in an effort to avoid hard work. This principle applies to the cunning Lord Kalrow. The former Guardian General of Sloth is a brilliant strategist who gets his minions to do all the heavy lifting. He constantly complains about ongoing battles and blames his advanced age for his lack of effort. He even finds walking bothersome and demands to be wheeled around by his staff. The sly tactician is clever enough to avoid confrontations outright, and he often uses realistic holograms and illusions to fool his opponents. Kalrow can turn the tide of any battle without stepping onto the frontlines, so he’s content to sit back and await his victory.

Roger Wilco is the protagonist of the Space Quest franchise, but he stumbles into the role haphazardly. Most of his heroic deeds are accidental, as he’s unwilling to put in any real effort. When we first meet Roger, he’s a second-rate janitor on a scientific spaceship. When a race of sinister aliens boards the ship in search of an experimental device, Roger is unharmed and unfazed. He wasn’t even aware of the commotion in the first place, since he was taking an off-duty nap in the broom closet! His laziness literally saved his life, and this is something of a recurring theme for him. Roger has to be creative and resourceful in order to survive, but many of his victories can be attributed to dumb luck. It’s no wonder why people continue to view him as an incompetent janitor even after he becomes a starship captain and a galactic savior.

Lisa is a highly educated witch with unparalleled wisdom. She’s said to be Sumeru Akademiya’s most distinguished graduate in the past two hundred years, and she shares her vast knowledge by serving as the librarian. There’s no body of knowledge she’s not acquainted with, and she’s able to complete any task to perfection. Although she’s confident in her abilities, she tends to avoid risky situations because she doesn’t want to increase her workload. She knows that she can handle anything that’s thrown her way, but she wouldn’t want to jeopardize her afternoon tea sessions. She accomplishes a lot and her work stands up to scrutiny, but the main reason she works so efficiently is so she’ll have more time to sleep. Lisa is the poster child for untapped potential, and she loves taking morning naps… and afternoon naps… and evening naps.

As the mayor’s son, Theodore Lagerfeld Jr. lives a sheltered life in the comfort of an extravagant mansion. He’s so detached from reality that he doesn’t even notice when his home town is being overrun with zombies. During the outbreak, he passes the time by sleeping and playing video games. A heroic mechanic named Nick Ramos eventually shows up and asks for his help, but Teddy’s too lazy to lend a hand. Apparently, turning over the keys to the police armory would require too much effort on his part. He doesn’t even have enough energy to talk to Nick, so he attacks him with remote-controlled helicopters instead! When Nick finally confronts him face-to-face, Teddy promptly dies from a heart attack and lets out a hilariously long fart. His sedentary lifestyle contributed to his embarrassing death, but at least he died doing what he loved.

Although Forde is an accomplished knight, he’s more comfortable with a paintbrush than he is with a sword. He still enjoys his time on the battlefield and often jokes around with other members of the army, but he doesn’t take things as seriously as he should. He’s usually the first person to opt out of dangerous missions, and his friends are patently aware of how lazy he is. When he’s forced to take up arms, his nonchalance gives way to carelessness. His armor has dents all over it because he frequently falls asleep in the midst of battle. Forde claims that he’s only pretending to sleep so he can lure his opponents into a false sense of security, but it’s safe to assume that he’s just making excuses. We’re talking about a guy who equips his horse with a special saddle so he can fall asleep without falling over! His dedication to laziness is truly remarkable.

As the maiden of a ancient shrine, Reimu Hakurei is tasked with eliminating troublesome yōkai. She’s blessed with all sorts of supernatural abilities, but she has no time for self improvement. (Her dilapidated shrine doesn’t get many visitors, so it’s not as though she couldn’t set some time aside for a training session!) Even though her life borders on destitution, she enjoys her carefree existence. She hates it when her placid routines are broken, but her devil-may-care nature is evident even when she’s called to action. When she’s hunting ghosts, she generally just flies around in random directions until she stumbles upon her foe. Reimu is absurdly powerful for a human, and this informs her unshakeable confidence. She’s content to rest on her laurels, and it took her over a dozen games before she learned how to channel power from her shrine’s gods.

You’d never guess by his apathetic disposition, but Sans is one of the most powerful monsters in the Underground. He seldom shows his true strength, however, as he’d rather spend his time making low-brow puns for his own amusement. Sans is happy to lounge around with his hands in his pockets while his younger brother does all the chores. (When he’s asked to pick up a dirty sock, he moves it two inches instead of just bringing it to his room!) Sans actually goes out of his way to be lazy. He takes on a second job to avoid doing his actual job, and he justifies his decision by pointing out that two jobs means twice as many legally-required breaks. He takes frequent naps when he’s supposed to be working, and he’s so lackadaisical that he falls asleep during battle! His laziness is informed by a bitter cynicism, so it’s hard for him to find motivation.

A day in the life of Snorlax consists entirely of eating and sleeping. It typically devours upwards of 900 pounds of food each day before going back to sleep. The gargantuan creature is too lethargic to move very far, so it often passes out in inconvenient places. Snorlax is docile enough to allow children to bounce around on its expansive belly, but it can still cause a commotion if it falls asleep on a major throughway. It takes a lot of effort to wake Snorlax up, and a special flute is often required. Snorlax can potentially crush its opponents like a giant wrecking ball, so I’d probably just find another route if one was blocking my path. No one on this list is more lackadaisical than Snorlax, but it’s oddly appropriate. The rotund Pokémon was directly inspired by Kirby, after all, so it’s only fitting for Snorlax to spend so much time in dream land.