The Miner Leagues

The 1983 video game crash was not kind to Bounty Bob. His games were showered with accolades, but the industry was about as healthy as a coal miner with black lung. Bounty Bob’s adventures take place in the future, and he has skirmishes with radioactive monsters as he explores abandoned mines. Fortunately, he has an array of high-tech devices (like teleporters) to help him along the way. I’d like to have ranked Bounty Bob higher on this list, but he’s technically not a miner at all. Rather, he’s a member of the RCMP who ventures into an abandoned uranium mine in pursuit of a fugitive. He explores every inch of the mines, he learns how to use all of the equipment, and he even recovers items that past miners left behind. If nothing else, I think Bob can be recognized as an honorary miner.

There’s a theory called nominative determinism that suggests people will gravitate towards areas of work that fit their names. If you name your daughter Destiny, she’s destined to become a stripper. In a similar vein, I doubt any of Pickaxe Pete’s classmates were surprised when he became a miner. Pete is most comfortable when he’s holding a pickaxe, and they’re perfect tools for smashing the boulders that surround him. Pete is nimble enough to jump over these boulders if he has to, but he’d just as soon destroy them with his trusty axe. His pickaxes aren’t very durable and need to be replaced on a regular basis, so it’s fortunate that he’s as strong as an ox and as agile as a monkey. By all rights, the mine he works in should be shut down for safety concerns, but no task is too tall for ol’ Pickaxe Pete!

Miner Willy’s adventures began when he found an abandoned mine near his home in Surbiton. The fully-automated mine had been piling up treasure for years, but its security system kept most intruders at bay. In order to explore the underground caverns, Willy had to content with poisonous flowers, spiders, and killer robots. His goal was to obtain treasure, but he had to act quickly if he wanted to escape before his oxygen ran out. I couldn’t justify ranking Willy higher on this list since he literally stumbled into the role of a miner. Moreover, Jet Set Willy was set in a giant mansion instead of an abandoned mine. The house in question was bought with the wealth obtained from his adventures in Manic Miner, however, and it was nice to know that his hard work paid off.

Taizo Hori (sometimes known as Dig Dug) devotes most of his time to digging tunnels and killing underground monsters. He has two primary methods of attack, and both of them are surprisingly violent. He’ll either inflate his enemies with bicycle pumps until they explode, or simply crush them with heavy rocks. The tunnels that Taizo digs effectively act as pathways for falling boulders, so he has to exercise a great deal of caution. Most miners venture beneath the surface to obtain valuable resources, but Taizo is more interested in murdering dragons. This doesn’t mean that there aren’t any resources for him to obtain. He doesn’t find any precious minerals, but Taizo can collect various fruits and vegetables during his adventure! He may not be the most effective miner, but he can dig like nobody’s business.

Mine cart stages are a staple of the platforming genre dating back to the 8-bit era, but they became more prevalent after Donkey Kong Country was released. Given how popular the stages were the first time around, it’s only natural that mine carts would show up again in Donkey Kong Country Returns. In this outing, Donkey Kong and his friends find themselves chasing down Mole Miner Max and his many minions. After his mine carts are loaded up with bananas from Donkey Kong’s hoard, Max starts the engines and tries to make his escape through the underground caverns. As the Kong family steps in to reclaim their prized possessions, Mole Miner Max keeps them at bay with an endless supply of pickaxes. He also burrows into the bananas during the fight, but that should be expected since moles are natural diggers.

Spelunky was released as a freeware title in 2008 and was followed by an enhanced remake in 2012. The unnamed protagonist from Spelunky admittedly behaves more like an archaeologist than a typical miner, and it wouldn’t be entirely unfair to describe him as a bootleg version of Indiana Jones. He even has a fedora and a whip! While exploring a network of caves, the spelunker collects treasure, fights enemies, avoids traps, and rescues damsels. His adventures take him into jungles, ice caverns, and an alien mothership, but his journey begins in a mine. He’s not afraid to get his hands dirty, and he often uses digging tools called mattocks to unearth treasure or break through walls. He might not be a miner by trade, but he sure looks the part when he’s tunneling underground and retrieving gemstones.

It’s time for adventure! Captain Toad was merely a background character in Super Mario Galaxy, but he was given his own bonus stages in Super Mario 3D World. These stages were well-received, and he finally landed a starring role in Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker. Like the unnamed protagonist from Spelunky, Captain Toad’s adventures are not limited to mining. While searching for treasure, he explores temples, castles, and even volcanoes. That being said, there are a few reasons why he’s a good fit for this list. Captain Toad wears a miner’s headlamp, he uses pickaxes to smash through walls, and he occasionally uses mine carts as a mode of transportation. He also collects a stupid amount of gems along the way. He’s gotta be one of the richest individuals in the Mushroom Kingdom by now.

Boulder Dash is yet another 1980s classic with a subterranean setting. The game is similar to Dig Dug in that both games require players to dig tunnels and drop boulders on monsters. While Taizo Hori is content to collect fruits and vegetables, Rockford collects gems and diamonds like a proper miner. Boulder Dash does a great job of illustrating how hazardous mining can be, and Rockford is under constant threat of being crushed or trapped in an avalanche. Rock slides can be triggered without warning, and any wrong move can spell doom for Rockford. At the same time, his oxygen supply is limited and he isn’t given a lot of time to plan ahead. There’s a sense of urgency to his adventure, and its fair to say that Rockford is under more pressure than most of the miners on this list.

Rusty is a steam-powered robot who moves to the remote town of Tumbleton after his long-forgotten uncle wills him a deed to a mine. As Rusty investigates the mines under the small Western town, he collects resources that can be exchanged for cash. Rusty is invariably equipped with a pickaxe, but he can gain access to drills, dynamite, and other tools along the way. He also has to manage his resources carefully. He needs water for his steam engine, coal for his lamp, and ladders to escape from tricky situations. He always has the option to self-destruct if things get too difficult for him, but he’ll be forced to pay a reparation penalty fee if he dies. The life of a miner is not easy. Rusty encounters many enemies during his adventure, and they only become stronger as he digs deeper into the mine.

As one of the default skins for the player’s character, Steve was intended to be a generic representation of a human. He never talks, he has no personality, and all of his actions are at the discretion of the player. At the same time, his abilities speak for themselves. He can lift thousands of tons, he kills zombies with his bare hands, and he can punch his way through the toughest materials. Steve dabbles in construction, hunting, farming, and alchemy, but he’s most aptly described as a miner. Not content to simply run around with a pickaxe, Steve can set up his own camps, craft his own tools, and build the infrastructure for his own mines. Some guy named Jesse was introduced as the protagonist for Minecraft: Story Mode, but Steve’s “blank slate” personality is more representative of Minecraft as a whole.