Hello, Nurse!

Cinnamon was personally built by Professor Gaudile for the purpose of restoring and repairing her fellow Reploids. Fittingly, she was given a nurse-like appearance to reflect her role. Gaudile is overprotective of Cinnamon and views her as a daughter, but she’s perfectly capable of defending herself despite her reserved personality and naive world view. Cinnamon can replace her hands with an assortment of weapons – ranging from boxing gloves to drills and pretty much every thing in between. One of her attachments is an oversized syringe that poisons her enemies. I don’t want to be the guy who tells people how to do their jobs, but poisoning others is the opposite of what nurses are supposed to do! From my point of view, the Reploids are evil! I’ll forgive Cinnamon though, since she’s usually kind and polite.

Alice Tsukagami was abducted as a child and subjected to experiments that gave her the uncanny ability to transform into a white rabbit for some reason. (The Bloody Roar games are based around transforming humans.) After fighting back against the corporation that abducted her, Alice worked her way through school and became a nurse. She was well-suited for the profession, as she was always portrayed as a gentle soul who had great compassion for those in need. She eventually left her job at the hospital to join her hippie friends in “the World of Co-Existence,” but she never lost her nursing instincts. Perhaps losing her parents at a young age acted as a catalyst for her life’s work, but whether she was looking after patients in a hospital or aiding the victims of an earthquake on her own time, Alice proactively sought to help others.

Mikan Tsumiki faced severe abuse in her youth and has extremely low self-esteem as a result. The target of frequent bullying, Mikan is easily intimidated and will often tear up when she becomes nervous. She’s a bit of a klutz too, and often finds herself in embarrassing poses as a result of her clumsiness. It’s a good thing she knows how to apply bandages. Since she had no one to tend to her wounds, Mikan learned to take care of herself from a very young age. As her skills were refined, she took an interest in nursing. By helping those in need, Mikan felt a sense of control that was lacking in other facets of her life. Her medical knowledge proves especially useful for solving murders, and she has an uncanny ability to provide details on injuries or causes of death. Is it any wonder why she was given the title of Ultimate Nurse?

On the surface, Sayoko Uehara is mischievous and flirtatious. She occasionally hits on her patients and encourages their return by promising to show them “something fun” on their next visit. It would be easy to write her off as a floozy, but there is another explanation for her lascivious behavior. Although she has a genuine love of helping others, she is overwhelmed by loneliness and is depressed that her patients leave her after they recover or pass on. Her abandonment issues and the fact that she acts like a skank should not overshadow her incomparable work ethic. A workaholic who constantly pushes others to work harder as well, her resolution and determination are a source of inspiration for other nurses. She travels the globe to help those in need. Who cares if she tries to bang the odd patient every now and again?

There are several reasons why the Pokémon Center Nurses aren’t ranked higher on this list. Firstly, their role is more akin to a veterinarian since they heal Pokémon rather than humans. Secondly, they are sometimes referred to as receptionist ladies and their medical credentials are unclear. Thirdly, they play a relatively small role in the games. Nurse Joy is given a lot of screen time in the anime, but the Pokémon Center Nurses are background characters. Nevertheless, they are a staple in the series and play an invaluable role when it comes to healing Pokémon. The machines they operate can restore Pokémon to full health and cure them of all ailments. It doesn’t matter if a Pokémon is severely burned, poisoned, or encased in a block of ice; a trip to the local Pokémon Center is the solution for everything.

The Rival Schools series is centered around sexy schoolgirls, but Kyoko Minazuki is a mature woman who is more in line with the “hot for teacher” trope. The picture of elegance, beauty, and intelligence, Kyoko is the presiding nurse of Justice High. She’s also the fantasy of every male student, and many of them fake illnesses or injuries just so they can earn a trip to the school’s infirmary. Her vast knowledge of orthopedics and anatomy makes her a dangerous opponent and a helpful ally. She’s able to heal her teammates in battle by giving them a quick massage, and her magic hands are used in other scenarios as well. The PlayStation version of Rival Schools even featured a mini-game in which Kyoko would give the player a massage through the Dual Shock controller! If nothing else, Kyoko earns points for creativity.

Angela Thompson is a young nurse who is known for her assertive personality and keen observational skills. She assists Dr. Derek Stiles in Hope Hospital and later transfers with him to Caduceus International. Having obtained an International Nursing License, Angie’s knowledge comes in handy during surgical procedures. She’s intelligent and hard-working, but she can also be moody at times. Although she usually conducts herself in a professional manner, she is prone to childish outbursts and will sometimes panic during intense situations. She has no issues with yelling at doctors, and at one point she becomes so flustered that she tells a suicidal teen that she should just go ahead and end her life. Not cool, Angie! Not cool! Her medical knowledge is impressive, but she could really work on her bedside manner.

Valentine was once an operative in an organization tasked with defeating a powerful supernatural being known as the Skullgirl. After the rest of her team was defeated, Valentine ultimately chose to join forces with the Skullgirl in the name of self-preservation. Her true motives are shrouded in mystery, but she generally acts in an antagonistic manner. Valentine has an expressed fondness for medical science, but she’s altogether unmoved by the Hippocratic oath and has no issue in harming others in the name of research. Tools that were intended to help others become weapons in her hands. In addition to her trademark bone saw, Valentine attacks with syringes, IV trees, and a seemingly-endless supply of scalpels. The surgical mask she wears is the perfect fit for someone with nursing knowledge and ninja skills.

Scarlett is a certified blood-drawing nurse who wears revealing clothing and rides around on a giant syringe. The sexy vixen can be found in various locations throughout Killer Is Dead, but she plays hard to get and is difficult to find. After players locate her, she’ll present them with a special combat challenge to test their manliness. Players will be rewarded with a full life bar upon completion of her challenge (and will be rewarded with something even better if they complete all of her missions.) Nobody on this list makes players jump through more hoops than Scarlett does, but that’s one of the main reasons why she’s so memorable. She might look like a slut, but she doesn’t give anything away. Most nurses make things easier for their patients, but Scarlett makes things hard. Who doesn’t like a girl who makes you work for it?

Nurses have made appearances in every Silent Hill game in one form or another. Although there are different variations, most of them are tied together by common themes. The nurses are manifested from the minds of the protagonists and are typically meant to symbolize sexual frustration and an aversion to hospitals. The malformed monsters usually wear low-cut blouses to emphasize their cleavage, but provocative clothing and a nice set of tits can’t make up for their disfigured, gauze-covered faces. If their lack of eyes doesn’t disqualify them from the medical field, then their propensity for violence should. They look awkward as they aimlessly roam the hospital hallways, but they’re surprisingly fast when they’re on the attack. They should all have their nursing certifications revoked.