Orange You Glad?

The octopus is the chameleon of the sea, and the majestic creatures have a remarkable way of blending into their environments. This is certainly true in Octodad’s case. After escaping from an overzealous chef, he decides to disguise himself as a human! After finding a woman to marry, he (somehow) starts a family. Although he’s resolved to live the life of a normal suburban father, he has to be careful not to expose his true identity. It’s hard enough for him to walk in a straight line, so it requires a herculean effort on his part to complete household chores without arousing suspicion. It’s obvious that Octodad isn’t really a human, and that’s where the humor lies. Even though he wears a proper business suit, his orange octopus head should set off alarm bells. I guess the suit really does make the man.

The Digimon series began in 1997 as a line of virtual pets in the vein of Tamagotchi. The eclectic cast of “digital monsters” had to look cool even when they were on tiny screens, and this is certainly true of Agumon. The bipedal reptile could be likened to a baby T-Rex with its oversized head, and comparisons to Kodansha’s Gon are not entirely off base. Despite his small stature, Agumon has a ferocious personality. If he’s not spitting fire or slashing with his sharp claws, he’s likely dazzling his enemies with a flurry of flying kicks. Thanks largely to his role in the anime, Agumon has become the face of the entire Digimon media franchise. Although he’s often depicted as a sidekick, it can be argued that he’s the real hero of the series. Agumon can potentially evolve into hundreds of different monsters, but I like him just the way he is.

Red XIII is one of the most fascinating Final Fantasy characters. Even though he looks like a wild mountain lion, he’s more intelligent than any human. This is a constant struggle for him, as he’s torn between two worlds. His wisdom makes it impossible for him to live as an animal, but humans have a tendency to treat him like a lesser being. When we first meet him, he’s actually being held captive by a group of unethical scientists. He retains a strong sense of honor through the ordeal, and makes it his mission to defend the planet after he’s rescued. Red XIII’s name was given to him by his captors in reference to his fire-red fur, but I can only assume that there was an issue with the lighting at the research facility. Everyone can plainly see that he has orange fur! I guess Orange XIII wouldn’t have had the same ring.

Monster Hunter has introduced us to dozens of fantastic beasts over the years, and Rathalos is clearly positioned as the flagship monster. The flying wyverns have appeared in every Monster Hunter game to date, and their role was especially significant in Monster Hunter Stories. They’ve even had guest appearances in crossover titles like Final Fantasy XIV and Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. The terrible creatures claim dominion over the skies, and they tend to hunt their prey from above. As if their poisonous claws and fiery breath didn’t make them dangerous enough, they’ll also resort to dive-bombing attacks from time to time. Rathalos will likely destroy you when you first encounter him, but he’s a pushover for experienced hunters. In this capacity, he perfectly encapsulates what Monster Hunter is all about.

Inklings are a species of cephalopods that can freely switch between humanoid and squid forms. They’re able to swim through ink after turning into squids, so they often paint their surroundings with vivid colors. Unfortunately, they can only traverse through ink if its their own color. This leads to elaborate turf wars where Inklings claim territory by covering the environments with their respective colors. Although the species as a whole doesn’t represent any one particular shade, orange Inklings have been given the brightest spotlight. (That’s typically their default color when they make guest appearances in other games.) Few games outside of the puzzle genre put a stronger emphasis on color than Splatoon does. I’d rank the Inklings higher if not for the fact that their skin color changes when they turn into humans.

After striking gold with Sonic the Hedgehog, Sega held an internal competition to come up with a sidekick for their newest meal ticket. A two-tailed fox named Miles Prower emerged victorious, which means he was already a winner before he made his formal debut! The young champion idolized Sonic and followed him like a lost puppy, but he was actually more capable than the speed hedgehog in many regards. Not only was he a genius mechanic and an ace pilot, but he could also spin his two tails like a helicopter rotor and take to the skies. (No wonder everyone calls him Tails.) Although Sonic’s speed was his defining trait, Tails could keep pace with him despite being much younger. Miles Prower is a pun on “miles per hour,” so his incredible speed only makes sense. Sonic has had many friends over the years, but none are more loyal than the OG.

No character in gaming has undergone a more drastic transformation than Conker. He was originally conceived as a Disney-esque mascot who could appeal to younger audiences. Indeed, this is the role he played when he first appeared in Diddy Kong Racing. His character was fleshed out when he starred in his own Game Boy Color game, titled Conker’s Pocket Tales, but this game was intended to be an appetizer for his looming Nintendo 64 adventure. After realizing that 3D platformers were oversaturated with childish cartoon mascots, Rare took an about turn and decided to turn Conker into a beer-swigging letch who swears like a sailor and spends all of his money on hookers. Needless to say, this certainly raised a few eyebrows. Conker still looked like an innocent woodland creature, but this was juxtaposed against a backdrop of degeneracy.

The PlayStation launched without an official mascot, but Crash Bandicoot helped fill this void when he burst onto the scene in 1996. With Super Mario 64 looming on the horizon, Sony needed a cutting-edge 3D platformer of their own. Although comparisons to Sonic the Hedgehog were unavoidable, Crash was more in line with a Looney Tunes character in both appearance and personality. The goofy-ass marsupial wouldn’t be out of place in Taz-Mania, and his trademark spinning attack was strangely familiar. Even though Crash was originally a silent protagonist, he had charisma to spare. His entire communication toolset consisted of pantomime and exaggerated facial expressions, and he had a real knack for slapstick humor. For an entire generation of gamers, Crash Bandicoot was the retarded face of the PlayStation brand.

With the obvious exception of Pikachu, Charizard is arguably the most iconic Pokémon. The imposing creature was prominently featured on the box of Pokémon Red, which means that he was the first Pokémon than many fans ever laid eyes on. Although Charizard could be likened to a vicious, fire-breathing dragon, it starts off as an adorable, salamander-like creature. That’s Pokémon in a nutshell, and Charizard’s evolution path perfectly encapsulates one of the game’s central gimmicks. Charizard’s role in the anime has only served to increase its popularity, and it has become an unstoppable steamroller when it comes to merchandising. (In 2022, a first edition, holographic Charizard card solid for an incredible $420,000 at auction!) Against all odds, Charmander’s popularity has only increased with each passing generation!

Q*bert is a bizarre, armless creature with a snout-like nose and a notorious temper. He spends most of his time hopping around on isometric cubes, and he swears like a sailor when things don’t go his way. Above all else, he’s absolutely adorable. Younger readers may take umbrage with Q*bert being ranked over the likes of Charizard and Crash Bandicoot, but the little guy was everywhere in the 1980s. Not only was he ubiquitous to the arcade scene, but he was also something of a merchandising juggernaut. His visage could be found on everything from sleeping bags to frisbees, and his adventures served as the inspiration for a Saturday morning cartoon. The gaming crash of 1983 took some of the wind out of his sails, but his appearances in movies like Pixels and Wreck-It Ralph prove that he’s fondly remembered to this day.