Barking Up the Wrong Tree

Cactuar was derived from a sketch that a Squaresoft character designer drew in a notebook when he was still in high school. The cactus-based characters made their first video game appearance in Final Fantasy VI and have been a staple of the franchise ever since. As you might expect, Cactuars tend to hang out in desert environments and often attack their rivals with needles. His 1000-needle attack is especially dangerous. In addition to appearing in the mainline Final Fantasy series, Cactuars have also shown up in Kingdom Hearts, Chocobo Racing, and even Mario Sports Mix. Of all of the plants on this list, Cactuar is the only one who has demonstrated an ability to slam dunk a basketball. You can buy a Cactuar as a pet in the Xbox Live Avatar Shop. Regardless of the game he’s found in, he’s undeniably adorable.

Whispy Woods is a large apple tree and a recurring boss in the Kirby games. He is known for his branch-like nose and hollow eyes. He apparently has powerful lungs, too. He often uses his mouth to create strong winds. Whispy Woods is said to be old and wise, but this doesn’t stop Kirby from picking on him. (Kids today have no respect for their elders.) Whispy Woods isn’t exactly the most difficult enemy to defeat, which probably explains why he tends to be the very first boss in every game he appears in. You have to feel bad for the guy. After all, he’s just minding his own business in the forest when Kirby decides to pick a fight with him. He can’t even run away either, as he is rooted into the ground. Whispy Woods finally reached his tipping point in Kirby’s Dreamland 3 when he uprooted himself in order to chase Kirby.

Mega Man fans have been introduced to dozens of Robot Masters over the years, but Wood Man is still my favorite. While most robots in the series are presumably made out of some sort of metal, Wood Man was actually made out of a tree trunk. He’s completely unique, and environmentally friendly to boot! Wood Man spends his time hanging out in a forest-themed stage, and uses a leaf shield to protect himself. (Incidentally, Wood Man is the first Mega Man boss to be linked with a shield weapon.) Unfortunately, wood was not the most appropriate building material for a robot. Wood Man is extremely weak against metal blades, and he does not fare well against fire-based attacks either. In fact, Mega Man can destroy Wood Man with a single fully-charged Atomic Fire shot. I won’t hold this against him, though.

The Eggplant Wizard is one of the most peculiar video game characters of all time. Nintendo’s bizarre fascination with eggplants in the 1980s has been well-documented, but the Eggplant Wizard took to the gimmick like no other. He’s a giant walking eggplant who throws a barrage of eggplants in an effort to transform his opponents into eggplants. Who comes up with this stuff? It’s almost as though the developers were playing a game of Mad Libs to help with the creation process and some smartass decided to be funny and answer “eggplant” for every question. Another theory is that he was created as an inside joke. Think about it: the Eggplant Wizard is phallic, purple, and only has one eye. I’m not entirely sure of what angle Nintendo was going for, but either way, the Eggplant Wizard is a dick.

Petey Piranha is an inordinately large piranha plant who was first seen in Super Mario Sunshine. Despite his massive size, Petey is much more mobile than his pipe-inhabiting brethren and can use his roots as makeshift legs in order to get around. His leaves can also double as wings to give him the ability to fly. If that’s not enough, Petey has even been known to drive a go-kart. Petey doesn’t appear to be especially intelligent, and his personality is basically defined by his colossal appetite and his penchant for taking naps. He’s also well-known for his temper, and seemingly attacks anyone who gets in his way. Petey is a relatively new addition to the Mario universe, but he has already appeared in more games than anyone else on this list. Since making his debut in 2003, Petey has been featured in over a dozen games.

Amingo is a bizarre bandito cactus creature that made his first and only appearance in Marvel vs. Capcom 2. He was apparently created for an unreleased Capcom game. In battle, Amingo makes use of vines and adorable cactus helpers, and he can also roll into a ball and hurl himself at his opponents. Amingo also knows how to wind down and finds the time to play guitar in his spare time. Not much is known about his origins, and the only information we have about him is that he is in search of a mysterious wind that has been sweeping across the land and killing all plant life. The fact that Amingo is so concerned with protecting other plants earns him his high spot on this list. Honestly, how could I not give a mention a giant, walking cactus who wears a sombrero? If Capcom liked money, they would give Amingo his own game.

Although Majora’s Mask was built with the Ocarina of Time engine, it introduced a couple of innovative gameplay concepts to the series. One of these concepts was the ability for Link to put on a variety of masks in order to change his appearance and gain new abilities. The first mask in the game transformed Link into a lowly Deku Scrub. Deku are small creatures defined by their wooden bodies and leafy appendages. They are not generally aggressive and are often looking for a conversation. While wearing the Deku Mask, Link can perform spin attacks, shoot bubbles from his mouth, and skip across the water. He can even fly for a short time by launching himself from Deku flowers. While under the guise of a Deku Scrub, Link is able to gain entry into the Deku palace and earn an audience with the royal family.

One of the few characters to appear in the first three numbered Fallout games, Harold is a mutated human who was affected by the “Forced Evolutionary Virus.” Harold grew up in a vault with other children, but was eventually released as a test subject and continued to mutate as he ventured across the wastelands. In time, a tree began to grow out of the side of his head. Harold gave this tree a name (Bob) and insisted on hearing its opinions on a variety of issues. As Bob began to grow in size, Harold became overwhelmed and had no choice but to root himself into the ground. A group of people later discovered Harold, formed a cult, and began to worship him as a god. Despite his ghoulish appearance and unusual predicament, Harold is a kind-hearted individual with a sharp sense of humor.

As one of three starter Pokémon available to players at the beginning of Pokémon Red and Blue, Bulbasaur is the most famous character on this list. Bulbasaur is classified as a Grass-type Pokémon and is the very first entry in the series’ “National Pokédex.” According to the Pokédex, the seed on a Bulbasaur’s back is planted at birth and then sprouts and grows larger over time. Indeed, as Bulbasaur evolves to become an Ivysaur or Venusaur, the bulb on his back eventually blooms to become a huge flower. Most of Bulbasaur’s attacks involve the vines, leaves, and petals that grow out of his body. Bulbasaur can also master the process of photosynthesis. The Pokédex states that the bulb can absorb sunlight and allow Bulbasaur to survive for several days without food. Bulbasaur can even harness the sun in order to create powerful beam attacks.

It might seem a little unfair to give the Pikmin the number one position on this list considering they’re an entire species. There is no doubt that they are completely adorable, however. The Pikmin are tiny creatures that are only about an inch tall, and they are literally grown in the ground like ordinary plants are. They are characterized by inordinately large eyes, and their heads consist of plant-like sprouts topped by leafs, buds, or flowers. Pikmin come in a variety of colors, too – each with their own attributes. For instance, red Pikmin are immune to fire while blue Pikmin can breathe under water. They are social creatures, highly cooperative, and loyal to a fault. When called into action, the Pikmin will happily risk their own lives in order to follow instructions from their master.