Red Alert!

Dino Crisis is a survival horror game in the vein of Resident Evil that substitutes the zombies for dinosaurs. It’s one of the best premises in gaming history, and its leather-clad leading lady is almost as cool as the concept itself. Regina is a member of a covert agency that specializes in espionage. Although she acts as the team’s infiltration expert, she spends most of her time trying to escape from a dino-infested island. She has to struggle to survive, and she’s understandably frightened by her initial dinosaur encounters. She quickly becomes accustomed to the giant lizards, however, and she starts throwing shade at them. Regina has all sorts of weapons at her disposal, but her sharp wit probably causes the most damage. She even makes snarky comments about a persistent T-Rex that stalks her! How embarrassing!

Rayne is a headstrong vixen who aims to protect humanity from supernatural evil. This is a subject that she has intimate knowledge of, since her father was a vampire and a certified jerkface. Her daddy issues act as a driving force for her story, and they inform every decision she makes. Her anger is not entirely unjustified, but I have to question her fashion. Her dominatrix outfits and stiletto heels can’t be comfortable, especially given how active she is. Although she’s a bloodthirsty dhampir who’s obsessed with vengeance, I think what she really craves is attention. She made history in 2004 by being the first video game character to pose nude in Playboy, and she clearly loves being a seductress. I’m still not sold on her vampire fangs, however, so oral sex would obviously have to be taken off the menu.

Lilith Cashlin is one of six “Sirens” who have been altered by alien technology into an enhanced being with superhuman abilities. Although she uses invisibility and elemental powers to control the flow of combat, she doesn’t like the implication of being revered as a goddess. She’s remarkably grounded and views herself as a mere mortal, but she’s still worshiped by overzealous followers. One follower even creates a creepy shrine in her honor! I understand the a fandom to an extent, as the wastelands of Pandora are not exactly crawling with babes. (Lilith is the only female protagonist in the first Borderlands, after all.) She’s not a traditional beauty, and her pale skin, distinct tattoos, and slender frame might not appeal to everyone. Nevertheless, she’s perfect for anyone who’s in to goth girls or alternative chicks.

Cordelia is an elegant Pegasus Knight who excels at nearly every thing she does. She is shown to have a wide range of abilities, and she can learn to use any weapon she comes across. Although she has prodigious talents and is viewed as a genius by her peers, she struggles with self-esteem because she’s too much of a perfectionist. Also, she’s a hopeless romantic who harbors feelings of unrequited love for a dashing prince who had rescued her in the past. Cordelia keeps her emotions bottled up for the most part, but her heart is just waiting to be warmed up again. I can’t imagine there’d be a shortage of potential suiters. She’s incredibly thoughtful, immensely talented, and unbelievably modest. She’s also drop-dead gorgeous, and I absolutely love the look of her messy red hair as she flies through the air. It’s quite stunning.

Katarina is one of the most iconic League of Legends characters, and it’s easy to see why she’s so popular. She’s stunningly beautiful, after all, and it would be hard to ignore midriff-baring outfits. Unfortunately, she’s also an unrepentant murderer who believes that violence solves everything. (They don’t call her the Sinister Blade for nothing!) Katrina is seldom seen without an assortment of daggers and throwing knives, and she was literally raised to be an assassin. League of Legends features tons of unsavory characters, but few of them enjoy killing more than Katrina does. The lethal vixen is most effective when she sneaks up on her opponents, so you definitely wouldn’t want to get on her bad side. Although I wouldn’t consider her to be relationship material, I still think she’d be fun to fool around with.

Vanessa is a girl who eschews expectations at every turn. You’d imagine a fighter with long legs would incorporate a lot of kicks into their repertoire, but the statuesque stunner primarily fights with her fists. When Vanessa was introduced in The King of Fighters ’99 Evolution, she stood out immediately. Not only was she the first female boxer in the series, but she was also the tallest woman on the roster. Her age also helped her stand out. Most of her female co-stars were teenagers, so a vivacious 30-year-old was something out of the ordinary. Vanessa isn’t as serious as her formal attire would suggest, however. Although she passes herself off as a typical housewife, she’s a hard-drinking MILF who enjoys life. She actually lives two lives, since she works as a secret mercenary in her off hours.

Heaveny Sword is a “hack and slack” action-adventure game that could be likened to God of War. Fittingly, both games focus on fierce warriors that effectively act as one-man armies. Nariko is way easier on the eyes than Kratos is, however. Kratos is a musclebound try hard with a lame goatee, but Nariko is the picture of grace and beauty. She’s incredibly acrobatic, and she looks majestic as she flips through the air. Every move she makes is punctuated by her spectacular locks, and she’s constantly flashing her panties. Her half-skirt leaves very little to the imagination, but Nariko’s too busy slaying bad guys to worry about her modesty. Nariko was an unwanted daughter and her clan blames all of their misfortunes on her, but she still defends them with her life because she’s not a drama queen.

Giddy up! Gemini Sunrise faces a lot of adversity after she moves from Texas to New York. The coastal elites see her nothing more than a country hick, but there’s more to Gemini than meets the eye. Although she looks clumsy and unrefined, she’s actually a trained samurai with highly developed spiritual powers. She also has a split personality that moonlights as a masked vigilante on a white horse. (Her disguise is paper-thin, but I give her credit for trying.) The duplicity doesn’t end there. Her ultimate goal is to join the New York Combat Revue and avenge her master’s death. The group masquerades as a theatrical troupe, but they secretly work to defend America from demonic threats. Gemini aspires to be a proper lady, but I think she’s fine the way she is. She’s smoking hot and has propensity for silly puns. What more can you ask for?

Mitsuru Kirijo is the valedictorian, the president of the student council, and the most popular girl at her school. She’s also a founding member of a secret group that’s investigating the existence of a mysterious “Dark Hour” that exists between one day and the next. (Her family played a role in creating the Dark Hour, so Mitsuru feels the burden of setting the world right.) She was born into money and won the genetic lottery, but Mitsuru’s not the type of girl who is willing to coast through life. She’s incredibly driven, and she always puts on a brave front regardless of how overwhelmed she is. Her self-assurance has made her a perfect mentor to her younger classmates, and she has a noticeable air of authority. I admire Mitsuru’s ambitious personality almost as much as I admire her long legs, defined lips, and voluminous hair.

Pyra has red hair, she wears red clothing, and she has the ability to wield fire. (Even her name is a reference to fire!) One might assume that she’d have a fiery personality as well, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Pyra easily ranks among the nicest women in gaming history. Incidentally, her abrasive side was sealed away following a traumatic event, and all that remained was compassion and kindness. This doesn’t mean that Pyra is a pushover, of course, and she has more backbone than you might expect. She certainly needs a strong backbone to support her massive tits, but I digress. Although Pyra was designed by a well-known hentai artist, she has more depth than her stripperific outfits would suggest. She’s a headstrong girl with a big heart and a penchant for cooking, so the fanservice component is just an added bonus.