You're Cordially Invited

During Nintendo’s E3 presentation for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, it became apparent that Waluigi would be featured as an Assist Trophy rather than a playable character. Wasting no time, well-meaning fans kicked off a “Waluigi for Smash” campaign in support of the lanky villain. A handful of idiots overreacted, but the campaign was mostly fueled by dank memes poking fun at Waluigi’s misfortune. Waluigi has always been a polarizing figure, so it’s not surprising that fans had strong opinions regarding his potential Smash Bros. candidacy. He’s been featured in virtually every Mario spinoff franchise, so I’d be lying if I said his omission from Smash wasn’t noticeable. If nothing else, I’d love to see how the Internet would react if Waluigi was finally promoted to playable character.

It’s surprising that Toad hasn’t been featured on the Super Smash Bros. roster yet, given how prominent he is in other games. He was a selectable character in Super Mario Bros. 2, for example, and one of the original eight racers in Super Mario Kart. Princess Peach’s longtime attendant makes minor appearances in the Smash Bros. games, but the little guy is deserving of a brighter spotlight. I imagine his moveset would be based around picking up and throwing his enemies, and there would be a great opportunity to bring other elements from Super Mario Bros. 2 into the fold. It goes without saying that different members of the Toad species would be featured as alternate colors, and you would also be given the option of choosing Toadette as well. I imagine his Final Smash would feature Captain Toad and other members of the Toad Brigade..

There are enough Fire Emblem characters in Smash Bros. already, but there are several reasons why I think Camilla would be a good fit for the series. Most of the Fire Emblem characters in Smash Bros. have been armed with swords, so Camilla’s trademark axe would be a welcome change. Her wyvern could also be incorporated into her moveset in interesting ways. On a more general level, the Smash Bros. games could always use more female characters. In the immortal words of Albert Einstein, “If you’re going to add a chick to the next Smash Bros. game, you may as well choose someone that has big tits.” I don’t realistically expect Camilla to be added to the roster, however. If another Fire Emblem character is added, it’s most likely going to be someone from the upcoming Switch game.

The Legend of Zelda is one of Nintendo’s most important franchises, but only a few of its characters have been featured in the Smash Bros. series. Skull Kid spends his time playing tricks on others, and his pranks occasionally get a out of hand. After appearing as a minor character in Ocarina of Time, Skull Kid was featured as a major antagonist in Majora’s Mask. While under the influence of a mysterious mask, Skull Kid was somehow able to persuade the moon into leaving its orbit and attempt to crash into the planet! A Skull Kid later appeared in Twilight Princess and demonstrated a familiar playful nature as he guided Link to the Master Sword with an elaborate game of hide-and-seek. Skull Kid’s unpredictable personality and mannerisms would make him a perfect fit for a series as wild as Smash Bros.

With the obvious exception of Mike Tyson, Bald Bull is arguably the most iconic Punch-Out!! villain. In fact, the musclebound Turk has appeared in more games than any other Punch-Out!! character. He was an opponent in the original 1984 arcade game, he was featured in the NES home version, he was present in the Super Punch-Out!!, and he was most recently featured in the Wii reboot. He even made an appearance in Nintendo’s rare Arm Wrestling arcade game (incognito as the mysterious Mask X), and he also had a cameo appearance in WarioWare: Smooth Moves. His devastating “Bull Charge” is a staple of the Punch-Out!! series, and it would work well as a high-risk move in the Smash Bros. universe. If nothing else, it would be fun to taunt opponents with his trademark laugh.

The WarioWare series is built around collections of short “microgames” that are presented in quick succession. These games are tied together by a cast of interesting characters, and Ashley is especially compelling. The young witch-in-training is already featured as an Assist Trophy, and she causes all sorts of random effects by conjuring up magic clouds. In the WarioWare games, Ashley is accompanied by a shapeshifting companion named Red. If Ashley were promoted to a playable character in Smash Bros., Red’s transformation abilities could be used in creative ways. The little guy can transform into magic wands or flying brooms, and he’d add a touch of unpredictability to Ashley’s moveset. She wouldn’t be the only witch on the Smash Bros. roster, but I think Ashley and Bayonetta would be the best of friends.

The online multiplayer component in Xenoblade Chronicles X made player-created characters a necessity, but Elma was clearly the main protagonist. As the team leader of a private military organization, Elma is an ace pilot who excels at combat. Her arsenal of weapons includes everything from swords to sub-machine guns, so there could be tremendous variety in her moveset. Naturally, her Final Smash would feature one of the game’s distinctive transformable mecha in one way or another. Xenoblade Chronicles X was a polarizing game, but Elma is one of Nintendo’s most compelling characters. She has a unique look and a fascinating backstory, and she deserves to be featured alongside Shulk and Pyra on the Smash Bros. roster. They found room for eight Fire Emblem characters, so three Xenoblade reps doesn’t seem out of line.

Mario and Dr. Mario each occupy a slot on the Smash Bros. roster already, so some may question if we really need another version of Mario in the mix. If Link warrants three separate roster slots, then the most iconic character in gaming deserves the same. Besides, Paper Mario is one of the only Mario franchises that employs a unique art style, so I think Paper Mario would immediately stand out on the roster. His moveset would be radically different from other versions of Mario, and he’d likely incorporate hammers into his attacks. His physics model would be completely different as well, and his paper qualities would be apparent when he’s dodging attacks. In all likelihood, he’d have the slowest falling speed in the game. If nothing else, I think Paper Mario would be a more interesting fighter than the current versions of Mario are.

The final boss of Super Mario Bros. 2 has never gotten the respect he deserves. Other characters from the game (including Birdo and the Shy Guys) have made appearances in other Nintendo titles, but Wart basically disappeared after being overthrown in Mario’s subconscious. Aside from a cameo in Link’s Awakening, the portly frog king has been completely ignored for the past 30 years. I know Wart’s a bad hombre, but it seems criminal that no one ever thought to extend him an invitation for a round of golf or a couple of laps around a go-kart track. Bowser has kidnapped Peach a dozen times, and he’s still invited to all of Mario’s extracurricular get-togethers. Is taking over Mario’s dreams really so unforgivable? Three decades on the sidelines is long enough. It’s time for Wart to make his return.

As Mario’s first girlfriend (and one of the first women to ever be featured in a game), Pauline holds a significant place in Nintendo’s history. Although she was introduced in 1981, she didn’t have a breakthrough appearance until Super Mario Odyssey was released in 2017. Pauline has way more personality than Princess Peach, and it was nice to see her step away from her usual “damsel in distress” role. Pauline was our 1-up girl all along, but she’s unlikely to be included on the Smash roster. New Donk City is featured as a stage and Pauline appears as a background character, but she deserves more attention. Her moveset could be based around various song routines and dance moves, and you could even bring Cappy into the mix. Her inclusion in the game would also mark the arrival of a much-needed Pauline Amiibo!