Stick to Your Guns

Choosing the best gun from Ratchet & Clank is like choosing your favorite flavor of ice cream. There are so many good options. The Morph-O-Ray emits a colorful beam that somehow transforms enemies into chickens. There are several reasons why turning an enemy into a chicken makes more sense than outright killing them. Firstly, turning someone into a chicken is funnier than shooting them with a bullet. Moreover, there is no better way to humiliate a person than changing their genetic makeup. Secondly, enemies who have been transformed can potentially become effective distractions for those who have yet to be transformed and/or killed. Finally, it just so happens that the transformed chickens are highly explosive and can potentially take out large groups of enemies if they are attacked. That’s not bad for a comedy weapon.

The Laptop Gun is a reasonably efficient sub-machine gun, but it’s most notable for its second function. The Laptop Gun, true to its name, looks like an ordinary laptop computer. However, it’s actually a portable sentry gun in disguise. Once deployed, the sentry gun’s motion detectors will automatically lock onto targets. It’s not the most powerful gun in Perfect Dark and it requires a little more strategy than most of the game’s weapons do. Nevertheless, luring unsuspecting enemies around corners and into the line of fire can be downright hilarious. By deploying multiple Laptop Guns in the same area, it’s also possible to create strongholds to protect yourself from enemies who are trying to sneak up on you. The Perfect Dark series featured several interesting weapons, but none are more memorable than the Laptop Gun.

The Metal Gear games are based around stealth and espionage, so it’s not immediately clear how a rocket launcher fits with that theme. Once you learn that the Nikita fires remote-controlled rockets, things begin to make a little more sense. The Nikita is an essential weapon in the series and allows its user to hit targets that would normally be out of reach. For instance, it can pass over electrified floors or through areas with poisonous gas. The Nikita is surprisingly maneuverable, and moves slow enough to be guided through narrow ventilation shafts. In Metal Gear Solid 2, the Nikita can even lock on to targets and be redirected in mid-air. One of the coolest aspects about using the Nikita is how camera angles are automatically changed to allow the player to see things from the missile’s vantage point.

The BFG-9000 is a ridiculously large gun that was first seen in the original DOOM. The gun fires giant balls of green plasma that are capable of destroying nearly any player or enemy with a single hit. Many subsequent first-person shooters have since implemented similar weapons. (The Quake series, as an example, pays tribute to the weapon with a similar gun known as the BFG10K.) While some of these weapons have been even more spectacular than the BFG-9000, none have gained the same level of notoriety. For those who haven’t figured it out yet: BFG stands for “Big Fucking Gun.” That, in of itself, says pretty much everything that needs to be said about the weapon. The ill-conceived DOOM movie implied that BFG stood for “Bio Force Gun,” but I think we can all just pretend that the movie doesn’t exist.

A wide variety of guns are used in the Gears of War series, but the Lancer is easily the most iconic and noteworthy of the bunch. The Lancer has a high rate of fire, but it’s surprisingly controllable for an automatic weapon. The Lancer is also surprisingly accurate and is even decent at long ranges. Of course, the most distinctive feature about the gun is its infamous chainsaw bayonet. This bayonet makes the Lancer extremely effective at close range, and the chainsaw can instantly kill nearly any enemy. The brutality involved in killing your opponents with a chainsaw made the game particularly appealing to mature audiences. Cliff Bleszinski (the lead designer of Gears of War) wanted to combine a gun and a chainsaw ever since he was a child, and he actually had to fight to get the chainsaw bayonet into the game.

In terms of destructive power, the Ice Beam isn’t exactly the most impressive weapon in the Metroid series. In fact, it’s actually one of the weakest weapons. Nevertheless, it’s extremely useful and arguably the most significant weapon in Samus Aran’s entire arsenal. Even though the Ice Beam lacks the power of Samus’ standard arm cannon, it can still stop nearly any enemy in its tracks. It also happens to be the single most effective weapon to use against the eponymous parasitic Metroids. More importantly, it adds a layer of strategy to the game by allowing you to turn enemies into makeshift platforms in order to reach areas that were previously inaccessible. The Ice Beam may not be the most powerful weapon, but it helps open up the game and contributes to the exploration aspects that the series is known for.

Although the Contra series has a variety of useful weapons to choose from, the general rule of thumb is to grab the Spread Shot as soon as possible and never replace it. Because it fires off multiple shots at multiple angles, it’s the perfect long-range weapon. With the Spread Gun equipped, it’s not uncommon to kill enemies that you weren’t even aiming at. The Spread Shot is also effective as a close-range weapon since it’s possible to cause massive amounts of damage by landing multiple hits on a single target. In short, the Spread Gun is pretty much the ultimate weapon to have in every level of the game and it’s ideal against nearly every enemy. Although more powerful and spectacular weapons can be found in the Contra games, none approach the overall viability and usefulness of the Spread Shot.

Originally intended for mining and salvage operations, the Magnet Gun is crafted from a rare Martian ore with special magnetic properties. The gun works in two stages. In the first stage, a magnetic bolt is fired at a desired target. In the second stage, an anchor is deployed that attracts the previously fired magnet. When used properly, the Magnet Gun allows its user to use their environment as a weapon. Pretty much anything can be targeted, so the gun encourages a lot of creativity. You can hurl alien soldiers against ceilings, tag opponents with flying debris, and even fling enemies into each other! Whether you’re causing a wall to crash down on an enemy or simply using your rivals as makeshift ammo, the Magnet Gun allows you to unleash a unique brand of destruction. Few weapons are more fun to use than the Magnet Gun.

Although the Gravity Gun (or Zero-Point Energy Field Manipulator) was originally designed for heavy lifting and the handling of hazardous materials, it makes for a very effective weapon. Not only will it allow you to send metal blades or exploding barrels flying toward your opponents, but it will also let you attack your foes with planks of wood, other characters, or even toilets! Almost anything in the game can be used as ammo. With that said, the Gravity Gun’s usefulness is not limited to the destruction it causes. It can also be used to retrieve items that are out of reach, knock over upright vehicles, dislodge mines from the ground, or snatch weapons away from enemies. The Gravity Gun is the most useful weapon ever seen in a first-person shooter and serves as a touchstone for the FPS genre as a whole.

Portal is one of the most innovative first-person shooters ever created. It’s so creative, in fact, that some would be reluctant to even classify it as a shooter in the first place. Instead of using a typical gun to shoot and kill enemies, Portal challenges the player to navigate through a series of rooms by using the “Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device” (dubbed “Portal Gun” for short). The Portal Gun is able to create both sides of a portal. Naturally, entering one side of the portal will teleport the player to the other side. Players are given tremendous freedom with regards to where they can create portals, but they will still have to be mindful of the level design in order to successfully navigate through each room. More so than any other game on this list, the Portal Gun completely defines the game it’s in.