High-Class Glass

Raizo Imawano reminds me a lot of Beast from X-Men. He looks like a wild animal, he’s ridiculously strong, and he has pronounced claws in place of normal fingernails. Despite his primal appearance, Raizo carries himself like a gentleman and a scholar. He held a prestigious status within his ninja clan, and he founded Justice High School with the intent of changing the world through the power of education. The fierce principal demonstrates his brute strength, but he values his sharp mind over his sharp claws. Raizo takes his job very seriously, and he’s always dressed to impress. His monocle fits nicely with his formal suit, and it reflects his studious nature. If I had to hazard a guess, I’d assume that the monocle helps him read. You think a guy like Raizo would be scouring for food in the forest, but you’re more likely to find him in a classroom.

Oberstgruppenführer Wilhelm “Deathshead” Strasse is the arch-nemesis of William J. Blazkowicz and one of the main antagonists in the Wolfenstein series. A gifted researcher with a passion for science and technology, Strasse heads the SS Special Projects Division and dabbles in everything from supersoldiers to experimental biological warheads. He’s depicted as the single most dangerous figure in the Third Reich. I felt compelled to mention Strasse on the list due to the strong link between monocles and high-ranking officers during the first and second World Wars. Monocles fell out of favor due to their association with the German military, so someone has to represent them on this list. No discussion about monocles would be complete without acknowledging the sons of bitches that killed them off.

The defining traits of the TimeSplitters series is its time travelling dynamic. The plot involves a temporal war that requires players to visit a wide number of locations over the span of several centuries. The architecture and weapons change from one level to the next, and you can usually tell what era you’re in based on fashion trends. Characters wear cowboy hats in the Old American West, while the gangsters in prohibition-era Chicago are decked out in pinstripe suits. Monocles weren’t in style for very long, so they’re the perfect accessory for the series. Captain Ash was born in the late 1800s and was an officer in the Royal Flying Corps during World War I, but you probably knew that just by looking at him. His monocle is the perfect compliment to his gentleman moustache, and there was only a brief window in time where people looked like him.

As a rule, vampires tend to be more fashion-forward than other monsters. They are typically dressed to the nines, and they usually take pride in their appearance. Slayer from Guilty Gear definitely fits this mold. He’s a charming and perspicacious individual who appreciates the finer things in life. When he’s not engaged in battle, he enjoys reading poetry and he is often seen with his gentleman’s pipe. He knows how to handle himself in a fight, but he refuses to use weapons and relies instead on his physical prowess. Slayer’s chosen attire reflects his refined nature, and the monocle makes him look like a man of culture. It’s fairly common for vampires to be depicted with monocles – Count von Count from Sesame Street being one prominent example – so it’s quite an honor to represent the entire vampire contingent on this list.

Lechku and Nechku are menacing owls with bodies comprised of cogwheels and clockworks. The demonic twins look sophisticated with their top hats and monocles, but they’ve slaughtered entire tribes. Their formal appearances help distract you from their deadly talons, and their monocles mask their malevolent eyes. Tik-Tok from Return to Oz gave me nightmares as a kid, and I’ve been freaked out by mechanical clockwork characters ever since. Lechku and Nechku seem to embrace this inherit creepiness. This list has its fair share of peculiar characters already, but a pair of clockwork demon gentlemen owls with time-control powers are the strangest of them all. I don’t typically group multiple characters together on these lists, but I’ll make an exception in this case since Lechku and Nechku kind of come as a package deal.

The philosoraptor is a well-known meme from 2008 that pairs illustrations of velociraptors with philosophical captions. The Scribblenauts take on the philosoraptor isn’t as insightful or thought-provoking as the popular advice animal macro, but it’s every bit as dignified. The only real difference between a velociraptor and a philosoraptor is its monocle, but that’s more than enough to paint an accurate picture. Anyone who sees the philosoraptor in the game will immediately understand how classy it is. (You can’t put lipstick on a pig, but you can put a monocle on a dinosaur!) In Super Scribblenauts, players could give almost any object a monocle simply by applying the “gentlemanly” adjective to the words they enter. Evidently, the designers at 5th Cell must have appreciated just how affable monocles could be.

Before he became the leader of an international crime syndicate, Arpeggio attended a prestigious boarding school in Britain. He was at the head of the class, but he fell behind the other kids physically. His tiny wings made it difficult to fly, so he became fixated on machinery and was determined to compensate for his feeble body. At the height of their popularity, monocles were worn as a fashion statement and were rarely fitted with proper corrective lenses. Standard glasses would be ineffective without ears to hold them up, however, so Arpeggio likely wears his monocle to improve his vision. When Arpeggio is eventually defeated, his death is represented by the dramatic image of his monocle rolling to a stop. If the monocle was significant enough to represent his life, it’s significant enough for this list.

Professor Henry Hatsworth is an explorer from jolly old Tealand and a member of the Pompous Adventurers Club. His expeditions take him around the world and into alternate dimensions, but he always looks distinguished regardless of his surroundings. His outfits are the very picture of high class. His bowler hat and magnificent moustache are notable in their own right, and his monocle serves as a constant reminder of his place in the upper strata of society along with the likes of Mr. Peanut or Colonel Mustard from Clue. Hatsworth is a gentleman of leisure, but he somehow manages to keep his monocle in place during his adventures. He’s constantly jumping around, he’s not afraid to throw hands, and he has a multitude of combat moves involving his sword and cane. Remarkably, his monocle never leaves his face. Good show!

Shelly de Killer is a gentleman assassin who values honesty and trust. There’s no honor among thieves, but the world of contract killing is a lot more dignified. De Killer is courteous and gracious in all situations, and he carries himself with class despite his questionable profession. His monocole is an effective emblem of his debonair personality, but I have to wonder if he actually needs it. His eyes are always shut, after all. To his credit, he seems really committed to the monocle motif. When he testifies in court via a radio transceiver, the dial on the device mimics his monocle. At another point, he can be seen eating an ice cream cone with a strategically-placed cherry that looks exactly like his trademark eye piece. It’s not clear if these allusions are intentional or coincidental, but they illustrate how recognizable his monocle is.

Hilda Henriquez is a headstrong woman who runs a busy port and helps establish new transportation routes through the disaster-struck Ashlands. She works tirelessly to improve the lives of others, and she goes so far as to open up an orphanage. The children that she looks after view her as a mother figure, and she’s remarkably reasonable as far as authority figures go. It’s rare to see a woman wearing a monocle, and I’d expect someone who looks like Hilda to use a lorgnette instead. You really have to appreciate her willingness to break social norms, and she’s not in-your-face about it. People who wear monocles are often looking for attention, but I didn’t even realize that Hilda had one at first. You could potentially stare at her for hours without ever noticing the monocle, and that sets her apart from the other characters on this list.