Dressed to the Nines

Federal agents often interact with intermediaries in the business world, so it makes sense for them to dress in business attire. (If you’re watching a movie or a TV show, you can usually identify them based on their fashion alone.) The eponymous Elite Beat Agents are always decked out in black suits and stylin’ sunglasses, but they’re completely unlike typical Feds. Although the members of the secret governmental agency provide assistance to individuals around the world, their methods are anything by conventional. Instead of solving crimes and enforcing laws, the Elite Beat Agents provide encouragement to those in need by dancing around like glorified cheerleaders! They look like they were lifted out of Will Smith’s Men in Black video and given way too much coffee, but the Elite Beat Agents have never failed to lift my spirits.

There’s a reason why neutral hues are so prevalent in the world of men’s fashion. Bright colors are not easy to pull off, after all, but Sissel makes them work. The phantom detective is visually striking, and his red suit is the perfect compliment to his huge blonde spike. The red-and-yellow combination might draw comparisons to McDonalds or Hulk Hogan, and I’d liken him to a GQ version of Johnny Bravo. Still pictures don’t capture really how charismatic he is, however. Ghost Trick is known for its silky smooth animation, and Sissel’s radiant threads are even more noticeable in motion. His offbeat suit is a perfect reflection of his eccentric personality. You might expect a detective to dress in a more inconspicuous manner, but Sissel doesn’t have to worry about standing out since he has the benefit of being a ghost.

This list is likely going to be dominated by men, but it should be noted that women wear suits too. Some people view pantsuits as a more tasteful alternative to a skirt and blouse. In reality, they’re the single lamest form of business attire ever devised. It’s the kind of outfit you’d wear while dabbing with Ellen or blathering about Pokémon going to the polls. Against all odds, Pauline’s red pantsuit makes her look classy and professional. It’s a good look for her, and it helps define her entire character. Most of Mario’s gal pals are princesses, but Pauline is a mayor of a bustling city. She has all sorts of administrative duties to deal with, and she’s not afraid to get down to brass tacks. Pauline will still throw on a slinky dress when the situation calls for it, but you know she means business when she’s wearing her pantsuit.

Grim Fandango is an homage to the film noir style of the 1940s, and Manuel Calavera obviously took cues from various Humphrey Bogart characters. (It’s impossible to look at Manny’s classy white tuxedo without being reminded of Rick Blaine from Casablanca.) As a travel agent for the Department of Death, Manny is tasked with guiding recently-departed souls to the Land of the Dead. Unfortunately, he has become disillusioned by the bureaucracy of the afterlife, and he’s starting to think that he’ll be stuck in a literal dead-end job forever. When he’s not working, Manny wears a black robe and dresses exactly like you’d expect the Grim Reaper to dress. The white suit that he wears when he’s off-duty is in sharp contrast to his work clothes, however. This dichotomy is a visual representation of how Manny feels about his job.

The Spy from Team Fortress 2 is “wrapped in an enigma and “shrouded in riddles,” but we’re more concerned with what he’s wearing in a non-metaphorical sense. The mysterious man from an indeterminate region of France is arguably the sharpest dresser on this entire list, and his custom-tailored Louis Crabbemarché jacket apparently cost $10,000. For the uninitiated, the Spy is a master of disguise with the uncanny ability to blend in with the opposition. After infiltrating enemy bases, he can trick his opponents into thinking he’s an ally. His balaclava isn’t especially discreet, and it can’t be easy to fly under the radar when you’re wearing a designer suit, so his unique array of cloaking watches are put to good use. The Spy would have been ranked higher on this list if he didn’t go through so much trouble to obscure his appearance.

It’s rare to see a fighting game character dressed in business attire, and it’s fair to say that no one embraces the concept more than Answer. Some people refer to him as the Human Database due to his extraordinary memory, while others know him as the Business Ninja. Answer maintains a strict and consistent work ethic at all times, and he’s excellent at multitasking. In fact, he never shuts up during battle since he’s always taking business calls! His weapons are just as unusual as his battle strategies, and he uses personalized business cards in lieu of throwing stars. Given how unorthodox his fighting style is, Answer would look out of place if he wasn’t wearing a suit. When Answer made his debut as a background character in Guilty Gear Xrd -SIGN-, there was no indication that he’d end up being such a proficient fighter.

King is a beautiful woman who goes to great lengths to hide her true gender. Although she was the only woman in the first Art of Fighting, promotional materials used male pronouns to describe her. King makes a living as a bartender, and her formal outfit is appropriate for that setting. The clothes look extremely out of place in a martial arts fighting tournament, however. Incidentally, King purposely makes androgynous fashion choices so she’ll be accepted as a reliable fighter. Even though she earned fame early in her career by defeating a Muay Thai legend, the community was reluctant to embrace a female champion. It’s unfortunate that had to conceal her true self in order to be taken seriously. King’s attire has become more feminine over time, but her purple suit remains one of the most iconic outfits in the entire SNK pantheon.

Attorneys are expected to follow strict dress codes as a means of showing proper respect to the court. Of course, most solicitors would want to look professional in front of their client even if no such dress codes were in place. Besides, no matter how strong their arguments are, it would be difficult for a lawyer to plead a case if they were wearing a potato sack. Phoenix Wright’s trademark navy suit is basically just a glorified work uniform. With that said, his clothes help separate him from the colorful cast of misfits that invariably take the stand as his cases unfold. Throughout his career, Phoenix Wright questions pirates, clowns, and everyone in between. He even cross-examines a parrot at one point! Even when his cases fall off the rails, Phoenix always looks composed thanks to his perfectly tailored suit.

Just because you’re expected to wear business attire doesn’t mean you have to dress like a prude. I think we can all appreciate Crimson Viper’s high heel shoes and low-rise pants, and I especially love the way her necktie gets lost in her substantial cleavage. I think the business world could learn a lot from her, and I suspect that the supposed wage gap would be narrowed if more women started to dress like her. Not only is Viper’s getup eye-catching, but it’s also the most practical outfit on this entire countdown. Although it (kind of) resembles an ordinary business suit, the outfit houses all sorts of hidden gadgets and weapons. As it turns out, Viper is an undercover CIA agent in charge of a top secret “Battle Suit” project. She enters fighting tournaments as a means of testing the prototypes, and I think the results speak for themselves.

There’s nothing glamorous about murder, but works of fiction tend to romanticize contract killers. While murderers are depicted as being deplorable or irredeemable, hitmen are painted as being principled in their actions. When you see a killer in a suit, you can’t help but be reminded that they’re merely doing their job. Rest assured, no one does the job with more efficiency than Agent 47. The world’s most elusive assassin eliminates numerous high-profile criminals around the globe, and he was literally born to kill. (Incidentally, he was the product of unethical cloning experiments, and his future was shaped by the people who created him.) Agent 47 takes on missions that no other hitmen will touch, and his dedication to his work is unfaltering. He’s a consummate professional, so it’s only appropriate for his clothing to reflect this.