What Were You Eating Under There?

Paz Ortega Andrade is was orphaned at a young age and lost her grandparents in the Costa Rican civil war, so she decided to dedicate her life to peacekeeping efforts around the globe. In one of Peace Walker‘s Extra Ops missions, Snake is given an opportunity to date her for some reason. If Snake gropes Paz or tries to interrogate her, he will fail the mission outright. Likewise, if he shows up to the date with no clothes, he’ll only succeed in scaring Paz away. If Snake plays his cards right, however, Paz will ask to join him in his cardboard box. If players do exceptionally well, Paz will reward them by wearing only her underwear during subsequent replays of the mission. The mission is intentionally absurd and it’s not meant to be taken seriously, but any date that results in a girl showing you her knickers is a success in my books.

King Hippo is a high chief of an unnamed Polynesian island, and he’s also one of the most unique fighters in the World Video Boxing Association. The dude’s too fat to get back up after being knocked off his feet, but he’s virtual;y invincible unless you know his weakness. If you manage to punch him in the mouth, his pants will fall down in the middle of the ring! While he struggles to pull his pants back up, you’ll have free reign to punch him in the gut repeatedly. It’s an embarrassing display, but it’s a moment that has lived in infamy. The sight of a 400 pound man in his tighty-whities is one of those things that you’re not going to forget. Despite his big mouth and gluttonous nature, King Hippo carries himself with class. His people should be proud of their king for trying to prevent an humiliating wardrobe malfunction.

This list focuses on individuals as much as it focuses on underwear, but Baku Panty is a unique case. Incidentally, Baku Panty is a pair of sentient panties that can somehow fly around and talk to people. Panty Party is an unusual action game that’s centered around fierce battles between panties. Baku Panty’s role in the game is that of a mentor, and he helps lead the charge against an army of unappreciated undergarments looking to brainwash humanity into giving them more attention. Baku Panty preaches about the importance of loving all panties equally, and he raises important philosophical questions about which butts are the best butts. Even though nobody actually wears Baku Panty in the game, I couldn’t make a list about underwear without mentioning Panty Party in some capacity.

The plot of Prinny 2 revolves around a pair of panties that were stolen from the Demon Lord Etna. Even though she owns hundreds of pairs, she feels compelled to send an army of exploding penguin-like minions to sniff out the stolen goods. She doesn’t like the idea of “some perv” wearing her panties on his head, and she’s angry enough to destroy the entire Netherworld! I can only imagine how depraved the phantom thief must be. Etna is over a thousand years old, but she looks like she’s ten. We never actually see the missing panties during the game, and Etna simply shows us a stock photo to use as an example. They’re extremely important to the game’s narrative, however. The subtitle of the game is “Dawn of Operation Panties, Dood!” after all, and NIS America even held a panty-designing contest to mark the release of the game.

In 2001, Rare was working on a quirky puzzle game called Donkey Kong Coconut Crackers that was slated to be released on the Game Boy Advance. After Rare was purchased by Microsoft, they had to find a new character to replace Donkey Kong in the game. Mr. Pants was a crudely drawn mascot that had been featured on Rare’s website, so he was obviously the best choice to replace one of gaming’s most iconic figures. Mr. Pants looked like an overweight, middle-age, matchstick man who wore nothing but a bowler hat and a pair of distinctive red briefs. Ironically, he’s famous for not wearing pants. (The term “pants” typically refers to underpants in the UK, however, so it all makes sense in British.) It’s not clear why Mr. Pants insists on walking around in his underwear, but he’s defined by his fashion sense as much as anyone else on this list.

The drama in Catherine revolves around who Vincent Brooks is sleeping with, so it makes sense that we’d see him in his boxer shorts. As the game kicks off, Vincent is contemplating his future with his longtime girlfriend. An attractive young woman then takes advantage of his inebriated state, and they end up spending the night together. As Vincent wrestles with his guilt in the weeks that follow, he begins having strange nightmares where he’s forced to climb collapsing staircases. The dreamworld is inhabited by anthropomorphic sheep and nightmarish creatures, and Vincent is completely vulnerable in his his polka-dotted boxer shorts. Most of the gameplay occurs in the dreamworld, so Vincent’s boxer shorts are a prominent fixture throughout the game. A pair of boxers were even bundled with the deluxe edition of Catherine.

The ending of Metroid caught everyone off guard by revealing that Samas Aran had been a woman the entire time. The intergalactic bounty hunter appears in various states of undress depending on how quickly you finish the game, and the best ending is reserved for players who complete the game in under an hour. (It’s hard to tell if her outfit is a swimsuit or lingerie, but it’s fair game for this list in either regard since she wears it under her power suit.) The 8-bit graphics look rudimentary by today’s standards, but the sight of Samus in her underwear was a monumental event that we’re still talking about three decades later! Game journalists have feigned concern about the sexualization of Samus in recent years, but anyone who finished the first game can tell you that she has always had an hourglass figure, long legs, and huge tits.

The Senran Kagura games revolve around groups of female ninjas from secretive shinobi schools. The girls face all sorts of dilemmas as they deal with the daily rigors of shinobi life, and one of the most persistent challenges pertains to their clothing. Incidentally, their shinobi clothing has a tendency to tear during battle, and their outfits can eventually be destroyed outright. All of the girls can be stripped down to their unmentionables, but Asuka’s rainbow-striped underwear is especially noteworthy. Asuka is embarrassed when she loses her clothes, but her rainbow-striped underwear has been the focal point of figurines, mouse pads, and body pillows. Any fan of Senran Kagura could identify Asuka by her underwear alone. Legends tell of a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but Asuka’s rainbow panties might lead to something even better!

We’ve already examined Arthur’s boxer shorts on our fanservice list, but they’re iconic enough to warrant a spot on this countdown as well. Arthur is wearing his shorts during the opening moments of Ghosts ‘n Goblins, and he doesn’t throw on his familiar suit of armor until after his princess is kidnapped. The armor is only temporary, of course, and it will immediately shatter if anyone so much as looks at him the wrong way. Ghosts ‘n Goblins was one of the first games to feature clothing damage, and the concept was reused in the all of its sequels. Anyone who is familiar with the series is familiar with Arthur’s underwear. The lighthearted strawberry pattern contrasts Arthur’s hostile environment and ads a layer of absurdity to his adventures. The boxer shorts also accentuate Authur’s vulnerability, and they make his journey seem even more difficult.

Jam Kuradoberi’s panties aren’t as famous as Arthur’s boxers or as sexy as Asuka’s unmentionables, but she deserves the number one spot on this list for being an ambassador of fashion and hygiene. This might sound dramatic, but Jam is the first fighting game character to change her underwear every day. In Guilty Gear Xrd -REVELATOR-, Jam’s panties will vary depending on the day. She wears polka dots on Wednesdays, lace on Fridays, and floral patterns on Sundays. (As a true connoisseur, I’m partial to the shimapan pattern that she wears on Mondays.) Jam has a tendency to kick really high, so her panties are always on display. Nevertheless, it took a while before fans realized that her underwear selection wasn’t random. The attention to detail is amazing, and Arc System Works deserves a place in the Pantsu Hall of Fame.