Verbal Taunts

Duke Nukem is egotistical, misogynistic, and downright uncivilized. He swears like a sailor and borrows one-liners from Hollywood action flicks, and his insults are as famous as he is. (His most iconic catchphrase took on a life of its own in the early days of the Internet thanks to the wonders of soundboard-related harassment.) Duke loves to brag about his “balls of steel,” but he backs up his words with his actions. No one has ever accused him of being a great role model, but you can’t question his fortitude. Duke didn’t start using the catchphrase until Duke Nukem: Time to Kill was released in 1998, but a pinball table barring the name “Balls of Steel” appeared in the first stage of Duke Nukem 3D and a proper Balls of Steel pinball game was released on Windows the following year.

There is no shortage of demoralizing game over screens. “Paperboy calls it quits!” is front page news when you fail in Paperboy, the Resident Evil games plaster “You are dead” across the screen with no tact whatsoever, and The Oregon Trail is way too cavalier with the whole “death from bloody diarrhea” issue. That said, the most devastating game over screen can be found in Friday the 13th for the NES. After falling victim to a masked killer named Jason Voorhees, players are bluntly informed that they are dead. This would be discouraging in of itself, but the game takes things a step further by explaining that their friends are dead too! The implication is that Jason killed all of your friends after he killed you, so the game basically goes out of its way to magnify your mistakes.

Rocket League has a number of “quick chat” options to facilitate communication between players. In lieu of relying on voice chat or direct messages, the quick chat feature allows players to send pre-approved phrases to each other during gameplay. This feature can help build chemistry between teammates or foster good sportsmanship among rivals, but the congratulatory messages can also be given a sarcastic spin. When a teammate or opponent makes a glaring mistake, you can shine a spotlight on their error by praising their “nice shot!” Some people deal with facetious comments better than others, but mocking others with kind words is obviously something that’s done in jest. Sarcasm can be annoying, but it’s still preferable to a 12-year-old telling you that he fucked your mom.

Sinistar was one of the first video game characters to insult gamers directly, and his harsh words were especially noteworthy since Sinistar also happened to be one of the first games to feature digitized voice. Pretty much everything that comes out of Sinistar’s maw is contemptuous. He calls players cowards, implores them to run, and roars with the ferocity of a planet-sized lion. Without question, his most arrogant taunt is, “Beware, I live!” The implication here is that Sinistar’s very existence is reason enough to cower in fear. This is appropriate when you consider that the premise of Sinistar is to prevent the titular antagonist from being constructed. References to Sinistar’s emphatic taunt can be found in other games, including World of Warcraft and Team Fortress 2.

During the prologue of Symphony of the Night, Richter Belmont and Dracula engage in a philosophical debate over the righteousness of man. Their entire conversation is filled with quotable phrases, but Dracula’s candid critique on the inherit dishonesty of humans was especially evocative. When Richter suggests that mankind has no need for a figure like Dracula, the dark lord replies, “What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets.” Dracula’s anger is further highlighted when he throws his wine glass down in disgust. Most taunts are directed at specific individuals, but Dracula indicts all of humanity with his words. Although the line was first attributed to French novelist, André Malraux, it’s a safe bet that most of the people who are reading this list will forever associate the quote with Dracula.

As a rule, I don’t typically include characters who didn’t originate in video games on these lists. Deadpool doesn’t care about these rules, however, so I’m going to make a rare exception in his case. When Deadpool taunts his opponents in Marvel vs. Capcom 3, a conspicuous cartoon word bubble proclaiming “This is my taunt!” is displayed on screen. He’s completely aware that he’s in a video game, but he clearly feels no pressure to say anything clever or profound. At the same time, his taunt stands out for being so direct. It’s also noteworthy for being the only taunt in the game that can cause physical pain. The word bubble can damage to his opponents and can even be used to set up combos in the Ultimate version of the game. Sticks and stones may break your bones, and Deadpool’s words might do the same.

Shao Kahn takes on many roles in the Mortal Kombat series. The Emperor of the Outworld is the host of the tournament, the announcer for the matches, and the end boss in many of the games. He’s a powerful warlord who is known for his immense strength, but his insults are every bit as damning as his Wrath Hammer is. Shao Kahn can move around at incredible speeds, but he often slows things down so he can ridicule his opponents. (In some games, he can actually restore his health by mocking his enemies.) He relishes the opportunity to tell people how much they suck, and it’s always frustrating to be called a “weak, pathetic fool” when your life hangs in the balance. If the words weren’t discouraging enough on their own, Shao Kahn sternly points at his enemies as though he were a parent scolding a child.

“You spoony bard!” is a line famously spoken in Final Fantasy IV by a wise sage named Tellah. After his daughter was injured in an attack, Tellah blamed her husband and let loose with a tirade of insults that escalated into a full-blown physical assault. “Spoony,” in this case, was an archaic term meaning “simple, silly, or foolish,” but it poorly represented how angry Tellah was. Although the line is often brought up as an example of poorly translated dialogue, it has made its way into every Final Fantasy IV remake thus far and was referenced in many other Final Fantasy games as well. It might be a weak insult, but it clearly resonated with those who heard it. It’s easily one of the most famous lines in the entire series and is even used outside of Final Fantasy fandom.

Sonic the Hedgehog’s infamous “You’re too slow!” taunt from Super Smash Bros. Brawl did an excellent job of highlighting his obnoxious personality and his incredible speed. His defining trait has always been his ability to move around at breakneck speeds, so the taunt was a fitting way for him to ridicule his rivals. Sonic runs in place and stares directly at the camera while he delivers the line, and it almost seems as though he’s taunting the player rather than his in-game opponents. This made it an ideal taunt to use online, and some players would troll their friends by repeatedly spamming the taunt through entire matches. The taunt was the basis for many memes and parodies across the Internet, but it was removed in the sequel despite its undeniable popularity.

After winning a bout in Street Fighter II, Guile invariably implores his bloodied opponent to “go home and be a family man!” This suggestion seems relatively benign at first, but there are a few reasons why it’s actually insulting. Firstly, it implies that his opponents suck so bad that they should give up on fighting altogether. Secondly, he’s asserting his superiority over them by suggesting that his chosen lifestyle has more validity than their’s. (Guile – being a family man himself – recommends that his enemies model their lives after his.) Finally, Guile even tells women that they should become family men. Chun Li proudly claims to be the strongest woman in the world, but Guile tells her to become a man after he beats her up. Someone should tell Guile that microaggressions are every bit as harmful as punches.