Worst Collector's Editions

Perfect Dark Zero was supposed to be the killer app in the Xbox 360 launch lineup, but the game felt rushed and unfinished even though it had spent over five years in development. The game’s Limited Collector’s Edition included an embossed metal case, a disc with bonus features, one of nine holographic collectible cards, and the first chapter of a comic book. It’s somehow appropriate for a game like Perfect Dark Zero to come with a collectible card with zero collectible value. I would be very surprised if anyone actually tried to collect the cards. Were gamers expected to buy the game nine times to collect all of them? The aforementioned comic book (which could more accurately be described as a comic booklet) was nothing more than a glorified advertisement. Rounding out the package were images of the staff and most of the in-house testers. Talk about a limited edition with limited appeal.

The Collector’s Edition of Call of Duty: World at War was a failure on many levels. The bundle included a metal canteen that was branded with the game’s logo. Unfortunately, it was sealed shut. It was apparently intended for display purposes only, but its round shape made it awkward to stand upright. In the end, it was basically a glorified paperweight. The bundle also gave players access to an overpowered gun and a week of double XP in the multiplayer mode. The digital bonuses offered players a day-one advantage… at the expense of everyone else. A collector’s edition should reward consumers who buy it, but it shouldn’t punish those who don’t. Sadly, “pay to win” schemes have become all-too-common in the industry. The tin case it came in was legitimately cool, but you know a collector’s edition sucks when its packaging is its only redeeming quality.

The Limited Edition of Assassin’s Creed was packaged in a tin box and included a comic book, a strategy guide, a “behind-the-scenes” DVD, and an Altaïr action figure. This doesn’t sound so bad at first, but the comic book and strategy guide were glorified pamphlets, the bonus DVD was a glorified coaster, and the tin box set everyone up for disappointment since it was way larger than it needed to be. Also, the figurine looked a lot nicer in the promotional pictures than it did in person. To put it bluntly, it looked like a Chinese knockoff that you’d find in a dollar store. The figure was only 3″ tall, and it would have been more appropriate as a Happy Meal toy than as part of a premium collector’s edition. In contrast, the Ezio statue that came with the Assassin’s Creed II was 8’5″ tall. (This is one of many instances where 8.5″ is preferable to 3″.) Customers who pre-ordered the game from GameStop or EB Games received a free hard cover art book that was more compelling than anything offered within the limited collector’s edition.

The Limited Collector’s Edition of Fable II is being mentioned on this list because of what it doesn’t come bundled with. A few months prior to the release of Fable II, fans were promised a collector’s edition that was to include a premium box, a set of Fable-themed tarot cards, a Hobbe figure, a bonus DVD with a “making of” featurette, and exclusive DLC. When the game was actually released, the Collector’s Edition only included the DVD and the DLC. This change was announced mere weeks before the game’s release, and Microsoft blamed the whole thing on “supply chain issues.” The price of the collection was reduced to $70 (down from $80), but that didn’t provide much consolation to those who had already paid upfront. To make matters worse, some of the collector’s editions were shipped without the DLC download codes! Looking back, the disappointing collector’s edition was a perfect fit for the game. Broken promises and disappointment? That sure sounds like Fable to me!

There were two collector’s editions available for Halo 3. The Legendary Edition came with a scaled-down replica of Master Chief’s battle-worn helmet. The more-affordable Limited Edition didn’t have the helmet, but it had more than enough content to justify its $70 price tag. The bundle included a folding metal case, storyboard art, a hardbound book, a small poster, and a bonus DVD packed with behind-the-scenes footage. This collection doesn’t sound too bad at first, but the case was poorly designed and it was easy for the discs to pop out during transit. The result of this oversight was discs that were scratched to the point of being unreadable. Microsoft acknowledged the issue and offered to replace the damaged discs at no charge, but few things are more frustrating than buying a game on launch day and being left with a glorified coaster. Microsoft did their best to downplay the issue, but that didn’t stop the Associated Press from picking up the story.

The Japanese Collector’s Edition of Final Fantasy XIV was shipped in an oversized box featuring beautiful art from Yoshitaka Amano. Unfortunately, its contents were less exciting. The bundle included exclusive in-game content, a hardbound book filled with concept art, a security token to protect your Square-Enix account from hackers, and a behind-the-scenes DVD. It also included a leatherette-wrapped drinking cup that somehow failed at being a cup! The box came with a warning that urged, “Do not fill the product with the following materials as they may cause damage: Items including salt and solid materials, carbonated beverages, milk or other dairy beverages, fruit juices, etc.” That “etc.” seems pretty open-ended to me. It would appear that the cup was appropriate for water, air, and nothing else. I wouldn’t even trust it for water, to be honest. Some fans reported that their cups were scratched and moldy when they arrived. Cups are not hard to come by. Humanity has been using them since prehistoric times, and they can be readily found at any dollar store. You have to go out of your way to fuck up a cup!

I’m kind of breaking the rules by including a strategy guide on this list, but the special edition of Prima’s Dark Souls III strategy guide is too ridiculous not to mention. You could buy the guide by itself for about $20 if you were so inclined, but the “Estus Flask Edition” offered a bunch of goodies for the low price of $130! It came packaged in an elaborate box with a cool wood grain design, and its contents included a hardcover edition of the strategy guide, a blank journal for note-taking, and an etched metal bookmark in the shape of the Wolf Knight’s greatsword. Of course, the main selling point of the “Estus Flask Edition” was the Estus Flask itself. Although Prima promised a “high-quality, resin replica of the emerald Estus Flask,” they delivered a worthless hunk of plastic that was probably worth a penny or two. The “flask” was completely solid, which also meant that it was nonfunctional. It also looked a lot cheaper in person than it did in the promotional materials. Seriously, just look at it! I have no idea why Prima chose the flask as the centerpiece of their collection. It would have seemed like a better deal if it hadn’t been included at all.

From the moment it was announced, Marvel vs. Capcom: Infinite had “disappointment” written all over it. The roster sucked, the art style was atrocious, and the gameplay was intentionally dumbed down in the name of accessibility. Capcom obviously wasn’t sending their best, but I don’t think anyone was predicting that its “Collector’s Edition” would be a colossal letdown too. The incentives for the $200 collection included alternate in-game costumes, a bunch of DLC fighters, and character dioramas of Iron Man, Captain Marvel, Mega Man X and Chun-Li. Also included was a case filled with six LED-powered replicas of the Infinity Stones. The promotional material made the replica Infinity Stones look like real gem stones, but the actual product was more akin to cheap plastic Easter eggs. On the plus side, the Infinity Eggs inspired tons of hilarious memes which were more entertaining than the game itself.

In PAL territories, the Collector’s Edition of F.3.A.R. included a comic book, a steelbook case, and a few downloadable weapons. It also featured a limited 7″ statue of a naked chick! This all sounds pretty cool on paper, but context is everything. Unfortunately, the statue in question is of a creepy woman named Alma Wade who looks like a rotting corpse. If that wasn’t oft-putting enough, the naked figurine is emaciated and pregnant. Needless to say, that is not a pretty combination. I know we’re supposed to pretend that pregnant women are beautiful, but the Alma figurine is downright grotesque with its protruding ribs and fetus. The womb also glows in the dark, because why wouldn’t it? In case you’re wondering, the reason why Alma is pregnant to begin with is because she used her ghost powers to rape a dude. I don’t think I’m alone in saying that her pregnancy didn’t need to be immortalized in plastic form. The figurine would look out of place next to my Amiibo collection, so maybe I’ll find a place for it on my desk at work.

The Alma Wade figurine from F.3.A.R. was horrific in its own right, but it has nothing on the hand-painted statue that was included in the “Zombie Bait Edition” of Dead Island: Riptide. The collection included an art print, a steelbook, and… a statue of a mutilated, bikini-clad torso!? A statement from publisher Deep Silver described the foot-tall monstrosity as “a unique collector’s edition that was utterly Dead Island” and suggested that it would “make a striking conversation piece on any discerning zombie gamer’s mantel.” I don’t agree with this line of thinking, and I would argue that the statue is more likely to end a conversation than it is to start one. I’m not sure who the statue was supposed to appeal to, but I can’t imagine anyone displaying it out in the open unless their goal was to chase guests away. When the “Zombie Bait Edition” was announced, it was met with anger and confusion. Although Deep Silver expressed their regret over its existence, limited quantities of the statue were made available to retailers in the UK and Australia. If nothing else, it makes my collection of anime titty statues seem less weird.